Çħŕőηίčľęş όf Ëμρħǿŗįæ

2009-09-03T20:11:00.007+08:00

Hello darlings! I just figured out what was the problem with mixpod
(that ze xuan is complaining about on his blog.
Do not use an overlay template for your blogs e.g. the one ze xuan is using :]
I kept searching for something that would fix this problem until I saw "help" on mixpod :/
Hope you all like my new blogskin. Time to go and do sui bi (Im tryin to get an A+ for once :)
Colbie Caillat's new album is coming! 0.0
I've decided to do something different with my mixpod.
Im gonn change the music as often as I can (when I have the time [but it onli takes 5min :])
Im gonna leave this post here too. So you all can enjoy mah music
(aka silence it when you hate it)(and I cant get music any other way w/ this template)

F.M.L

2009-08-30T21:47:00.011+08:00

I think I'm getting punished by a certain heavenly deity.
Because Im having lots of problems in my life (dont we all?)
Well, not really. Just me. Here are some f-ing problems with my life =.=

1. My computer ran out of memory for no apparent reason

Like, wth. It was absolutely fine when my father used it last night.
"Last Night, I did things I'm not proud of...and I got a little crazy"
And technically I am banned (so I should be writing this)
because my father thinks Im addicted. Its not like I turn it on every day.
I'll be seeing a psychiatrist (I am not joking) during School hols,
for the same reason. I suppose I am a little crazy.
"You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around,
you make me crazier, crazier" (Hannah Montana Movie)

2. My aunts laptop speakers are malfunctioning

I finally get music; and my aunts computer cant play it.
This is my backup computer (where Im typing this post now)
and carrie underwood has released her new single. Crap.
(and avril lavigne's album coming soon! Lets be emo
and mass graffiti the school with black and pink, punk paint)
I need my music. I Need My Music. I NEED MY MUSIC. I NEED IT,
"Please dont stop the music, music"
(you know, I first heard this song at a Winx concert
[I was there accidentally; I don really like it now, its styndicated])
I hope blogger dosen suddenly close down (gasp!)
Notice I've been rattling on about computers (making this post x. long)
It is not prioritized (if it were, I would be addicted).
The rest is just grouses.

3. I did badly for Chemistry.

Even though I scored above average, it still kinda sucks.
Redeemed with Physics. Yay. Thank God.
It was the stupid electrostatic bonding question :/
I feel pissed. Maybe I'll vent my anger on the Daddy Longlegs floating nearby...
*SPLAT!* I just killed my alter ego. I feel so ashamed, Matthew. God Bless.
Nah, I didn really kill it. Though now its crawling on my desk 0.0
Ooops. On closer inspection, it is not a daddly longlegs.
Its just a midge/mosquito or whateva with one leg measuring 4 cm :]

4. I still haven gotten my new ez-link card.

But its ok, cuz I hope I can get a new one by this week;
together with my broken water bottle (which I dunno how
in Heaven it got broken ["though I have my doubts"])
Maybe it was in Art Club when I left my water bottle tehre for 5 days -.-
Speaking of Art Club, Fangyi finished her teapot in 50 minutes. Fast 0.0
I did some flower thing. I still prefer Flowers Over Boys though.
Im slightly worried that I wont be able to use my teapot after firing.
For um..obvious reasons? I've never really heard of clay poisoning though.
I could get into Guiness World Records: First Person to die of teapot poison.

5. My violin exam is on the 15th Sept.

Do I still need to explain this? My God. I wish I didn have to.
Its not that I hate it...well, it would be better if I didn have to
practice approx. 3 hours a day. Arrgh. Im going crazy.
(so maybe its better I see that psychiatrist after all :)
"Its like I checked into rehab and I am my own disease"
P.S. This is my 88th post. yay. Shuang xi. Good Luck.
Especially now in 7th month. Why did Matthew burn the stupid newspaper?
Now peoples gonna think we're doing offerings to dearly departed -.-
Nah, Im sorry. you shouldn say this kind of stuff now.
Then we had a newspaper fight. OMG. I just realized something horrible.
What if we used part of unburnt newspaper Matthew tried to burn?
That means we were throwing around...offerings. omg.
This is like one of those movies where a curse is laid on
"all those who were involved or laid their eyes on the _____"
Wow. This Post-script is long, as well as this post.
Sorry for torturing you all and making you read this :)
P.S.S. Did you know there was somebody on Facebook who wrote about
her s*xual stuff, and she was like "No, I put that in the wrong box!"
"Somebody tell me how to delete that box [text inside]"
Then some mean person said "Wow! You still got it! ^.^"
P.S.S.S. This woman is already engaged. Facebook Divorce Win.

Hollywood Nosh

2009-08-24T20:57:00.007+08:00

Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long.
Make I sure I dont drink and drive; or my license's gone.
And in case yu're wondering, nosh is an English (England) slang for food.

Nah, that was just a joke. I hope Im gonna burn in hell. Its too hot.
Like Me. (va-va-voom, baby *winks*) Nah, Im know Im a nerd
(and three-quarters girl. Thanks Matthew)
I hope you've all read my previous post before this one (the one w/ music)
This is my 87th post. Im gonna have to keep saying this so I'll know
when I reach the 100th / 107th post landmark. 107 rules the world. Except Geylang.
I dont think this post has to be (that) long because I've posted a paragraph already.
As you all can see (unless you are blind and cannot read this);
I changed my blogskin again. I'm probably gonna be back in the *mood*
now I fixed my mixpod music. Btw, if you all cannot see the arrows for scrolling,
its slightly pink (to my eyes-maybe Im going color blind [and deaf])

I don know why; but I keep rereading all my Archie Comics lately.
I was feeling bored (even though I hadent finished Maths Assignment)
(Please note I said HADENT. Im becoming less lazy. Go me.)
I guess I was feeling bored. Ultra-dee-duper Bored.
I ate panna cotta for dinner today. What the hell is that? I hear you fart.
Well, its cow shit dunked in chocolate and simmered lightly over
hot dog oil and then baked with the finest touch of methane.
Ok fine, its actually (prepare yourself for wikipedia):
Panna cotta is an Italian dessert made by simmering together cream, milk and sugar,
mixing this with gelatin, and letting it cool until set.
An Italian expression which literally means "cooked cream",
it generally refers to a creamy, dessert from the Northern Italian region of Piemonte.
It is eaten all over Italy where it is served with wild berries, chocolate sauce or coulis.

And I ate American Pizza with Greek Caesar Salad :)
Ok, do you all know; it wasnt named after Julius Caesar ("adelphe, boethei!"),
but Caesar Cardini (an Italian-born Mexican). Yummy Honey.
It could also have been Alex Cardini (a cook), who made it for some Hollywood stars.
Speaking of Hollywood, I watched Get Smart on HBO yesterday.
Then, my father started laughing (for no apparent reason at all).
Watch it; its very funny. But they cut out the part wher 2 guys kiss.
W8! B4 you say im disgusting and off this ciomputer; it was supposed to be a
comical moment when the good guy (steve carrell) was trying to distract the
bad guy (dwayne Johnson [The Rock]) so he kisses Agent 23 (johnson) so as
to prevent him from taking the briefcase (which contains the bomb)
And they cut that part out; I think because it was classified as "Homosexuality"
(even though I managed to see the scene in the original PG movie)
Anyway, I just revealed a major plot spoiler; but Im not gonna tell you how it ends.
So get the DVD or the pirated version and watch it. Dont try it. Just watch it :)

P.S. Have you all noticed that I don have a picture? I think it looks nicer
without a picture. No pictures of me though. Im currently not photgenic w/ gay hair.

P.P.S. Have you all eaten yellow tomatoes b4? Did it taste nice?
Remember to tag and tell me cuz I didn dare to eat it (coward :)

Pervert Alert

2009-08-18T18:46:00.010+08:00

Please read this first (though I doubt you will even bother to look at the video)
(Remember please stop at around 30 seconds. If you dont, please lower your volume a lot)
(Its not that funni either, sorry if I don have a sense of humour. Nobody's perfect)
Pfft. I am not posting today. So sorry (nah, im not really sorry [im so insincere{so live with it}])
Mainly its because I have decided im only gonna post once every 3 or 4 days? Around there.
And i got the vid! Ha! My com's been having probs lately as it cant copy stuff properly :/
You've probably heard me describe this video in school. It contains the f-word, and is..
*pervert alert* Super super super pervertic. I'd advise you just to watch Hannah Montana.
Because if any parent saw this, my blog will be banned from me and you.
But nobody really cares. This blog is dead anyway Just venting off my emoness. Enjoy it.

Long story short, me and jiaying and joel went to Jurong East to find a rubber cork.
It was for our physics project and yantong said we had to pay her $10. I cant (reason later)
So we went around aimlessly for very long (im repeating myself to make this post longer)
And we didn get anything (well, Jiaying gained a lot of knowledge) (Not the good kind)
Anyway, why I cant afford $10 is because my Itunes is not working
(it worked fine b4 and ze xuan said it wasn't user-friendly - now I know)
How come I cant find the music in Singapore? (I've always sucked at technology)
Ok, posted after all. I'll go restart facebook (I won have time to colour my posts)
(P.S. today is f-day. Fish-day. Female-day. Fantastic-day. f***-day :)

Update: Deleted The Vid because Yaazhini said the 2nd half was too pervertic
(Ze Xuan also said all he could see was a screaming guy)
(Personally, Im surprised he could see it was a guy-- I thought the acting was quite good :)

Gerade ein Traum

2009-08-16T22:27:00.003+08:00

Hi you all. I am supposed to be finishing my maths journal now. But since I am pissed off...

Im gonna do it at 12am (if I fall asleep I'll bring my thumbdrive to school and email it to Ms Chew :)

So Im not gonna die yet (hah all hypocrites) because recently Ive been vulgar (vulgar people shiity rule)

http://www.youtube.com/user/ShaneDawsonTV
Ok, the above website is for vulgar peepos like me. Yeah, you *bleep* *bloop* *beep*
This is not really for um...fragile people (??? ._.) (that includes you, you ba *bleep* tard)
I recommend this to Matthew and all his twisted brains (get off mousehunt for just 1 minute rite?)

As you all might know (actually you all probably would not know since I never told you)...
today is my mother's death anniversary. No, im not gonna be emo, lame, sporadic, strokey etc.
I just changed the lyrics on one song so if you want to hear it, its on my mixpod under carrie underwood.
(In Case you wondered, I can memorize the whole song. Whoop Whoop :)
Main Tune © Carrie Underwood - Just A Dream
(if you want to know, the last quote is also found in Harry Potter 7 [the book])
(Plus, the actual song has an error in context - takes time to find it [its at the beginning])

It was two weeks before the day she turned for-ty,
all dressed in white,
climbin' the heaven stairs that night.
I had her box of jewels in the passenger seet,
Red High heel shoes,
something borrowed, something new.

When the curtains opened up wide,
I put my head down trying to hide the tears,
(Oh she just couldn't believe it)
And with the chanting, a minute turned back,
and the pre-sents that she never had.

Tell me why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go,
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know (oh I'll never know)
Its like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background,
everybody's saying,"She's not suffer-ing now".
This cant be happening to me, This is Just A Dream.

And the priest said let's bow our heads and pray,
May he bless this soul, and heal this hurt.
And the congregation all stood up and sang,
the saddest song, that she never heard.

Then somebody handed me a folded-up letter,
and I held on to all I had left of her,
oh I just couldnt believe it.
And God said it was a brand new start,
and she closed her eyes with a tear in her heart.

Tell me why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go,
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know (oh I'll never know)
Its like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background,
everybody's saying,"She's not suffer-ing now".
This cant be happening to me, This is Just A Dream.

Tell me why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go,
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know (oh I'll never know)
Its like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background,
everybody's saying,"She's not suffer-ing now".
This cant be happening to me, This is Just A Dream.

The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
- 1 Corinthians: 15: 20-26

しゅくだい

2009-08-13T18:31:00.009+08:00

Took me ages to get over tuition hangover. The alcohol of chinese *shivers*

Better not let wu lao shi hear that or I am in trouble. So many tests now.

I realized nobody is posting now so I should. Finished studying for physics, but Im really scared 0.q

I'm gonna bring my physics file 2morrow to study and then throw it outta the window.

No, thats a joke. I can only do that after year-end test anyway. That sux. Have to take extra Bio Subject Test :/

Now I'm supposed to study for Chem, but I am so freaking tired. I'll do it 2morrow, I guess.

I have so much extra homework. How the hell am I gonna do this Maths without Equation?

Maybe I'll tell Ms Chew that my com exploded after I stuffed it into the microwave to cook my fries.

Did you see the news? Some russian tourist threw a mug at the Mona Lisa (owwch)
Apparently the mug broke. What an iron lady. Though she's made of paint and coloured spit (sorry)
Im just a bit miffed with Leonardo The Vincy Because he lent his name to our irritating Da Vinci.
We did some weird straw thing? And we cheated because we taped it to the floor.
I didn't really matter because we didnt get selected anyway. Like, fish. Anyway, ours nearly collapsed :)
The Eiffel Tower of Parie. I considered changing Parie to *something censored*
because it would be offensive and the French are really patrtiotic (unlike us)

Anyway, The Perseid Comet Shower is coming in 18 00 + 8 00 = 26 00 on Wednesday.
Which means 2 am on Thursday; which means its over. God. Another astronomical wonder gone.
Moving as fast as a meteor shower. Lucky I saw it on Wednesday night. It was just flashes in the sky.
Made a wish upon a star? Well, I didn't. I guess it was just a corny old wives' tale. I suppose.
Ever heard of Peter Pan? "Second star to the right" I still remember! Ha! Disney still lives in me :D
Btw, its coming next year. So I still have time to make that deeply peronsal and unneccesary wish.
But if I don't tell you, it won't come true. Or will it? I wish for more chocolate. *waits 5 seconds*
God cheated me. Where's my chocolate falling from the sky? Why aren't I drowning in chocolate?
(Was that gramatically correct btw?) What happened to my endless supply of Ice-Cream?

That suuux. Better get serious now. Im really sorry about the mudslide. As well as the waterfall.
Specifically, the people who drowned in the waterfall. Deepest condolences :/
Well, my life is getting seriously very morbid recently. Especially my tuition teacher. How surprising.
The homework I have is to write a letter (Ew?) about the danger about watching "unsuitable" movies.
You know, those M18 stuff that has sex and the city and the money and the violence.
Hopefully I dont get a punch for that. I'm trying to be less fishing vulgar. Negative success rate 0.q
First it was "Why do old people commit suicide?" (Because they ate too much chocolate?)
Next it will be "Why r there more sexual jokes in movies?" (Its True, even Disney has been contaminated.

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
-Unknown

You can fly if you can chase your dreams. [...]
You'll always find your way back home.
-Miley Cyrus

Here's to you longshots, you dark horse runners, hairbrush singers and dashboard drummers.
Here's to you wild magnolias just waitin’ to bloom. There's a little bit of all that inside of me and you
Thank God, even crazy dreams come true
-Carrie Underwood

isänmaallisuus

2009-08-10T18:15:00.001+08:00

Hi, folks. Back in the posting mood again. Cheer for me. Whoop Whoop.
Though its probably only a short break as there are many tests coming (Prepare yourselves; study soft)
Now, you might be wondering why the shit is there a picture of a(n ugly [don shoot me im half antartican) merlion.
I was thinking that I should have one more picture of the wonderful merlion b4 it gets struck by lightning.
Have you ever wondered why it got struck? Maybe it was because of divine intervention
(It was the love child of a forbidden, romeo-julietish union of a lion and a fish or mermaid)
And if you are thinking about why I have such a weird title, get a finnish dictionary
(or, you could always go to wikipedia and search. Ok, fine what it really means is Patriotism)
Go Singapore. So how was NDP I think it was okay, exceprt for the fireworks: amazing but 7.5 mins shorter.
Such a stupid pity. Luckily I went to the Old National Stadium. Im so lucky. 1 benefit to being in choir.
Primary 4: last batch to go. Primary 5: first batch to go to Marina Floating Whatever.
As I think back, Choir wasnt that bad. Occasionally funny, but we had to suck in the air for some random reason,
infalting us to big blue, white balloons (that was the colour of our uniforms),
and the irritating choir teacher would go around, poking her needle finger into your kindneys and...
BOOM. No more Michael Jackson wannabe.

Speaking of which, I still haven't come up with a good idea for Chinese random-speaking on Tuesday.
I'm actually very un-random (if you can believe that; I dont really think I do either);
maybe I could talk about today's dental or *something that I shall do for chinese but will not tell you yet*
Before I forget, sorry Jiaying, now setting up new MSN account and redownloading MSN.
I guess she's angry at me because she has not replied my sms. I dont think shes that petty though.
Btw, when to pass up English? Because I still haven done the stupid extended metaphor. Im thinking of pig.
Pffft. I just checked wikitionary for PIG and it means pervert. Am I a pervert ?
Lets check the definition: one who has turned to a twisted sense of values or morals.
I suppose Im pretty close to the non-matthew way. Sorry if I use your name too many times, Matthew.
Its just that whenver I think of pervesion, I think of um, you. Don't take it personally.

Ok, so about today's dental. It was a disaster. And I am in very, ultra, lake-baikal deep trouble.
Lake Baikal is 1620 metres deep, which is around 540 stories high. I just got a new book about lakes
(not with my own money of course, Im not so stupid) and another book about Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
This is probably retribution for laughing at Ze Xuan's book about Warren Buffet.
Now, dont overreact again Jollyfrog, it was just a comment. i didn really laugh, you know.
And my father expects me to read it. I secretly wanted this true book about a woman who married a murderer
("I marreid a murderer. His name was Daisy. Since the age of 5, he liked to eat insects, especially cute laybirds")
Ok, fine, it was a bit disturbing. And I didn really want the book. It was so sick.
It was just conveniently located behind some Enid Blyton and Bratz books, and I sneaked a peek :D
(If you know what that insinuates, its not true by the way [I hope its not going to be true either])
(If you dont know, continue being ignorant and clueless)

Wow, I keep getting off-track. Stupid Brain, clever body. I guess its subconscious: Im trying to avoid it.
Mainly because it was a bit embarrasing (if they see this I will be in even hotter soup)
(speaking of which, Im hungry for Campbell's mushroom soup. Its actually very nice :D)
So, to put it simply, the management screwed up for the 7th time in a row (I've been there only 8 times)
and my parents kind of started arguing with the receptionist because they were pissed off,
mainly because we always have to wait veri long (from 9am to 2pm)(but I don really mind actually),
they kept cancelling and rearranging our appointments, and said the doctor who does braces
was at the clinic when in fact she wasn, and that was the last straw-coloured tooth I suppose.
My mother actually said she would file a case against them 0.q
Then she decided to terminate the service or something like that, so now they're gonna refund us.
So, I have to get my braces completely fixed by Wednesday (my wire unravelled),
and I'll be so freaking tired on tomorrow cuz I(we) have NAPFA and I have violin in the afternoon,
so I actually don have the time (or any energy left) to find a new dentist and let them torture my mouth.
I actually better start calling them up now but I don have the confidence *sigh* What am I gonna do?

Indisposed

2009-08-09T17:25:00.002+08:00

First of All, I'd let to get some business over with first. Happy Birthday, Singapore.
Patriotism is so ovverated here; if we trace back 3 million years, we are all from Africa.
I shall not bombard you with genetic science because I supposed to be a Christian
and doing so would seriously flaunt my feminism. Ok, that's a joke.
No divine lightning to turn me into chao da sea cucumber. That's good.
(Sea Cucumbers are fantastic: they can spit out and regrow their intestines
I'll never get colon cancer [that sounds so emo]
They spit their intestiens from their ass don worry, I wont go around
planting intestine-diarrohea kisses on your undeserving faces-you don deserve my delicious shit)
44th birthday already. I stayed up until 12 midnight to say I Love You to Singapore,
afterwards I kissed the ground and accidentally swallowed a beetle.

Ok, that was a lie. Im not that patriotic. But lots of us stayed up late on the 8th right? :D
I had to stay up because my father ate something poisonous and spewed out something poisonous over the toilet.
And he refuses to see a doctor, and my mother had to apply some yellow thing over his stomach
to make him fart and get rid of the gas that was pulsating through his vemon-filled veins.
I'm scared the doctor's is closed. But I hate people who work on National Day,
because one of them is my money-obsessed dentist with electrocuted hair. You know,
the kind that defies gravity and stands ups straighter than a lamp.
Anyway, please remember to watch the National Day.
If you see people you know, please wave to them because they cant see you;
and if you see me there, please be reminded that if you want to kick me,
spare my beautiful face and do take note that if you break your television, Im not paying for it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrrvkPo7TZ4
Just in case you own a Wii, this could happen if my face appears on your television.
If you listen carefully, you can hear he calls his mother. Mama's boy :D
Im gonna let me cousin see this because he never puts on the safety strap.

Its 4 o'clock now. God. I spent two hours typing this. Well, it isnt my fault, lunc came in the middle of it.
We have to eat right? But Im such a skimpy litle skeleton that it dosen't really matter anyway.
I have this sudden craving for lots of potato chips, yum... I guess I'll blame the Class Party.
I'm supposed to saty away from potato chips because whenever I eat them,
I get this desire to dance in my underwear. Nah, that is another joke. They just make me happy;
and Im not supposed to get happy; because I will dance around in my underwear.
I want to watch the movie Up. Its supposed to be Fantastic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwPMKcYEkmw&feature=channel
But there's supposed to be...BLOOD. I think I read that somewhere and they say lots of parents
are pissed off because Pixar accidentally punctured an artery instead of internal injury.
Anybody wanna watch it? We can make it a class outing (I'll say this again on Tuesday)

Which reminds me, there is NAPFA on Tuesday. Please Scream for your worthless, pathetic and tortuous lives.
Did I spell tortuous correctly? Oh well. Anyway, I hope I can maintain my previous year's standard. Get a gold?
Maybe. But I'm missing C for Long Jump by around 4 cm. How'd it get to be so close when it's so far away?
Anyway, I can't jump as far as Barney the walking dipstick. Ok, ok, I guess that was mean.
I still have respect for Barney (I don Love him anymore because he's syndicated)(find out what that means urself)
I *used to* watch him. I dont anymore, which is sad really. Barney holds a lot of good memories.
Unlike Teletubbies. Teletubbies didn have anything other than somebody swinging a homosexual bag.
How weird. When I was watching multi-coloured aliens, they were saying that it promoted homosexuality 0.q
I think its just overblown way too much. I wonder that was the reason it was cancelled,
while Barney lives on. Go Barney. But it is unrealistic, because Barney is supposed to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
T-rexes are approximately 40 feet long (around 12 metres) and weighed around 7000 kg,
and the pressure of its teeth is strong enough to bite through bone.
I cant remotely imagine it(him?) drawing rainbows wth small little children (aka desserts)

The rocket project on Friday was nearly a failure. But we learned a valuable lesson:
never put explosives in your mouth because it makes your mouth smell like wrapping paper.
What we really did was *ahem* forecast the weather. Cloudy, with a chance of urine, tears and diarrohea later.
Bring your pink umbrellas which will magically transform into brown by the end of the day.
Since life is just a wonderful journey (and unrelated to Cheese), I want u to watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5bL5mZk8hk
And I'd like to reinforce the fact that I do not have a crush on Taylor Swift (like, WHAT?)
Just that the video is funny. Im spamming so many videos 2day. Pity the tune is not exactly the same.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dx0MwgIZos&feature=channel_page
for all those people who think Twilight is the most wonderful thing on Earth.
Im not anti-twilight, its a nice book, its just overrated as usual :D
P.S. Sorry for being dead for so long @_@

Mustang Le Cadillac

2009-07-30T20:47:00.008+08:00

Its been a busy day.
Not much nonsense to post about today :/
I am currently pissed off at my aunt's laptop.
because it keeps deleting my almost-completed posts.
I cant remember everything I wanted to post about;
and its getting really annoying.
They set up a new showflat today.
Now, whenever I look out of the window,
I see a disgusting, short, squat building of steel.
Disgusting.
One day, what looks inside that building
will be in the exact same place
as where I am typing now.

They just roped off the whole carpark.
Now I have to walk around my whole compound
if I take 197 to Alexandra hospital.
That sux.
The only sadistic pleasure I can get from
this is watching my tuition teacher walk
500 metres under the boiling sun. Hehe.
I'm not sure if I like Jollyfrog's new blog.
I just cancelled my like of rain; back to the sun :DMy aunt just told me that my cousin
really wants to get into Nus high;
and he is so pressurized. I see.
Well, if he sees this, Kai Zhe jia you!
Jia You (fang pi)! Jia You (fang pi)!
Nah, thats just a joke.
Must work hard :D
(Unlike me. I didn study at all for PSLE
[which I regretted a bit later afterwards]but I got good results :D
[dont tell my parents this or they will spew
magma-blood like a volcano {yeah, Im using
Imagery :P}])

I want to change my blogskin again :/
If my aunt lets me download photoshop :D
Im sick of navis.
I wanna go back to old-fashioned scrolling.
Ok, thats enough.
Im so bored Im talking about blogs.Ew.
My schoolmate's hamster just died recently.

Sorri about that :/

But I doubt she even knows about my existence here.

Its a bit unnerving how girls say

I Love You continuously to each other on blogs.

Its also creepy that I know somebody who can do

100 sit-ups in a minute.

That souns very miraculous.

Getting very lazy to post. But Oh Well.

Maybe I'll be in the mood 2morrow

(after Art Club,

and I still haven come up with a good use

for my egg [maybe I'll just use it as a

paperweight {its not even eggish, its

spherical}])

Cant get away with the gypsy woman,

thought nobody would know, your secrets down below

-Hilary Duff

Reflective Glaze

2009-07-24T19:17:00.017+08:00

Laid an egg at Art Club today.
(Btw, which came first, the chicken or the universe?)
We made these two hollow bowls and smashed them together.
Fangyi's one turned out so perfect.
Perfectly rounded without a wrinkle anywhere.
Mine was um...redone 3 times,
and had a flat ass and head.
And the teacher still spent 5 minutes slapping it
*pat* *pat* *pat*
Now Im supposed to think of a practical use for it.
How about shitting into it and throwing it at other ppl?
Pardon my bad attitude today...
Today was a weird day other than Art Club.
Let me relay it to you backwards.

I was on the bus, I heard something very unique.
I heard this guy talking to his girlfriend and he said,
"You know, my frens from turkey complained that they
arent getting enough attention in the bathroom"
This post is full of birds 0.q
B4 Art Club (the crap abt Art Club is Up There [in Heaven])
There was Break.
And there was a plate of chicken rice.
*pervert alert*
Who said it had a cleavage.
He was talking about cell division,
so technically, everybody has a *ahem* cleavage.
*pervert alert*
I pity Miss Li in Physics.
She was so frustrated because we all didn understand.
I sort of understand.
But Chicken Rice (the one who has a *toot*)
kep asking stupid questions
(but I don remember any of them.
I haven a chicken's brain and an elephant's feet.
[and a monkey's face {and a baboon's ass}])

Before that was Chinese :D
Im starting to enjoy Chinese,
even though wu lao shi gives damn lot of homework.
We did newspaper talking again.
I talked about the 8:22 pledge moment,
which is Singapore's government's attempt
to increase our patriotism.
Jollyfrog did some article on somebody
being fined $50'000 for cutting down a tree.
Imagine of you have a tree which grows gold fruits.
Or This Tree
Which reminds me,
check out This Link
It was actually in dou hao and is not bad.
It can help you with your holiday plans 0.q
I want an Infinity Pool

Before that was Mathematics 0.q
The fact that I use the word mathematics
instead of maths shows its severity.
We had to do this irritating Geography
computer program which I have forgotten the name of
I couldn log into the com
(I must try to remember my password
[I just found the piece of paper w/
my password on it {I have around 50
mails in my inbox :/}])
Jollyfrog couldnt do the angles properly
and his square was out of proportion,
and it danced around like
"T-rex from Jurassic Park chanced upon the hippo ballerina"
But he got in the end (I suppose)

Then it was Mentoring :D
Mr Ng was so serious today.
And I didn have to present It :P
We had to interview our neighbours 0.q
I dont mind my neighbours but asking them
if they know what is cantonese
(ji so hai bin do [where the hell is the toilet?)
and if they are going to hang up their
National Flag is going to far.
(National Day is coming;
hang up your flags; I think im drawing
my own flag this year because my parents
think its a waste of time to hang it)
As said, Mr Ng was very serious,
because something undesirable happened.
(Personally, I think that's the wrong word)

Somebody (from our school)
was pissed off with student leaders
(from our school)
and sent a message (to the entire school)
Talking about a lot of things,
like reform and punishment and caning
(not really lah)
blah blah lah lah blah blah zip-a-dee-doodah
Then someone (not from our school)
got the mailing list and started sending
invites to some po*n websites.
And teachers (from our school)
suspended our email accounts 0.q
so they could trace the invites
and give them a slap.
I didn check my email,
but (Mr Ng take note if ur reading this)
Matthew got another po*n email
even after our accounts were suspended.

2morrow I have to see the doctor again *sigh*
because I have a relapse of exzema.
I feel like I have cancer.
Apparently, I cant even be near sour cream
(and onion potato chips)
anymore. I used to like sour cream a lot :/
Now Im scared of the doctor,
because he will accuse that he hasnt
been taking care of my skin.
I dont bathe in milk, okay?
Nor do I spend 15 mins in the morning
applying 15 different brands of skin products
on my epirdermis.
I hope I can just shed my skin like a snake
and I'll be cured of this freaking deformity forever
(and I don wanna live with smelly feet either
[people faint 3 storeys below when I take
off my socks in the shower])

Many people (to be exact, two [including me])
have discovered that blogger has a problem,
but now I dont have a prob when I post
on my aunt's laptop.
And I had to type 1/2 of this post in html, which is so annoying.
My fren's is working just fine too 0.q
Blogger Help dosent say anything about it either.
My life is currently is shambles :/
Cant blog properly.
Today is a bad day.
And my physics homework will be "minused 10%"
cause I forgot to bring it.
Physics is the only class where I have a clean record
(other than Chemistry,
cuz Im scared that Mr Ng will use mentoring sessions and chase me for homework)
I blame it on other people :D
Its because of ppl like Mukesh that Ms Li is becoming mean
Physics is getting boring.
Ms Li was right when she said
as we progress, we turn into sloths and slugs.
Its called retardation (of the brain)

(I know this colour is awful so sorry
[But I wanna talk about blood-donation]
Yantong talked about blood-donation 2day.
She said it was a noble thing.
I dont disagree,
but whenever the nurse says,
"You'll only feel a little prick",
she must have filed down the needle until
its thick as a ballpoit pen 0.q
then she jams it into your arm;
"Ooh, nurse, is that my blood?"
"Yes, smith"
I mean, if someone has AIDS and
he's pissed off about it, he purposely donates
blood and infects 100 ppl with AIDS 0.q

Hey, thats a good drama plot :D
I should write it down.
Havent been writing drama stories lately 0.q
Havent been posting either :P
So trying to make up with is extra-long post.
Im slightly annoyed that
http://euphoria.blogspot.com/
is taken up by a blank page :/
(Please notice that however emo I am,
I have never put a sad smiley)
Emo.
Emotionally Moronic Oranges.
Like the librarian. He's more grouchy than sucidial.
Anyway, hes a kind person.
Somehow my library book (which was overdue for 2 weeks)
was *magically* renewed for me 0.0
The library must be haunted
especially all those empty shelves at the back with no lighting
Ya ya ya, our class libary isn bad (I think)
as we dont even have any books yet
Gonna have to donate all my spare books

Speaking of which,
Art Club people are very emo.
They dont smile.
They dont laugh much.
And they like to point nail guns at ppl
and disfigure other ppl's faces
(*ahem* ze xuan *ahem*)
I think its very rude to disfigure other ppl's
faces. It makes film stars commit suicide.
Not that Im emo.
I dont want to emo.
but the emoness wants me to be emo.
Its not that tempting though.
Its like moonshine :D
(Something I would love to say that chickens drink in their spare time and vomit afterwards

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
-Helen Keller

A fair reputation is a plant, delicate in its nature, and by no means rapid in its growth. It will not shoot up in a night like the gourd of the prophet; but, like that gourd, it may perish in a night.
-Jeremy Taylor

Philosophicality

2009-07-18T22:21:00.001+08:00

This is a mostly philosophical post.
(Because if numerous parantheses)
This post (may or will) offend a lot of people.
If it does, I am truly sorry
(I think this applies to all my posts)
Matthew's water balloon is an epic fail.
It exploded. In the fridge.
You know, some people have this obsession with fire.
Pyromaniacs like to set stuff on fire.
I like to put stuff in the freezer and watch them freeze.
after that pouring boiling water on them.
Back to Matthew's water balloon.
So I was listening to Avril Lavigne
("Motherfu*king Princess!" [Girlfriend])
suddenly... "Thump!"
I actually screamed because I was alone in the house
and was watching some ghost vid on youtube.
And I had a heart attack.
Then I slowly came out of the room.
Nothing at all.
False Alarm.
No ghosts w8ting to tear my brain out.
Yadda Yadda.
Then I went to eat some ice-cream.
(I have this obsession.
I eat normal ice-cream when Im stressed,
and gelato [milk replaced by water] the rest of the time)
(our freezer has a prob where suddenly its veri cold
and sometimes its 20 degrees celsius
[although that could be my fault as the freezer door
mysteriously stays slightly open 50% of the time after
I take something from it].
Maybe its Shi Yi's curse of the Werefridge.
The curse has been passed on 0.0)

Anyway, I opened the fridge door..."Damn Crap"
The balloon had 1/2 exploded and there were
pieces of pink rubber around (like meat).
It was like someone had bombed
a meat slaughterhouse and dumped the remains there.
Then there was a huge piece of ice there
(with the pink rubber bits)
like a gelatinous brain.
Disgusting (Actually it was my fault but nvr mind.
I have learnt my useless lesson.
[Dont put water in balloons because water freezes]
[Don go to the toilet when there is a freaking
time bomb in the freezer])

Today my violin teacher came veri unexpectedly.
He was like,
"You Do know there is violin 2day right?"
And I was like,
"I'd really like to slam the stupid door in your face
now because i'm technically sleepwalking"
His reply, "Ok then."
And he walked inside.
You really thought I would say that?
I am offended (this means you, yantong)
Surprisingly, I do better when I have a layer
of crusted saliva at the ends of my mouth.
He said I improved.
(I've been practising
[I want to out this because it insinuates
that I dont really practice])
Thank you very much.
Now get the hell out of my house
(just joking, I still gave him a glass of ice water
[with the ice from the slaughterhouse {no, thats
a joke. Again}]though I didn think he deserved it)

Then my mother woke up to some "awful screeching"
b4 realizing it was me and my best frenemy, violin.
Whoops-a-daisy.
At one,
(wth I am I chronologically anouncing my day.
I dont usually do this)
we went to "somewhere" and realized
that "somewhere" was closed because we
were 3 mins late.
(and my father said "something" [begining
with fu and ending with ck] and banged the
wall of the "somewhere")
(And I was very sad because I was stuck
in the freezing aircon for so long and my
legs were so numb I could have dropped monkey
shit on them)

Then we went to my cuz's house
(where I forgot to get his hp no. and website
for the 100th time [I have his email])
and we played with
(this is a total coincidence)
balloons (and water balloons)
(imagine the bolding and italicization yourself)
And my cousin was saying,
"Dont blow the balloons.
You'll get cancer from ingesting rubber"
So when he was eating peanut-butter bread,
I (purposely) said,
"Do you know that excessive peanuts cause Hives?"
(Thank You, Shi Yi)
Back to balloons.
So we were playing with balloons,
and we kinda knocked the balloons over to the
neighbours at least 5 times (not on purpose
[he lives in a terrace house])
And it was a Singtel balloon,
so when the neighbour fetched it for us,
I said (not knowing why [trying to be idiotic]),
"Thank you, and we'd like you to know we're
not advertising for Singtel" (it was a singtel balloon
[my aunt and uncle went to Singtel to change
their phone plan and w8ed 2 hours for some
bitchy woman behind the counter to say "Not Available"
[her words, not mine {my family is os vulgar, right? :D}]
that was very red and reminded me of vampires)

Then after the fiasco,
my father wanted to get tickets for Harry Potter 6.
(I really have no intention of pretending to dislike it)
So we went to the shopping center...
where there was an accident.
Just a minor one.
(Incidentally, its the 2nd one in 3 weeks.
And the 3rd since 2004
What does this tell you
[Both were women drivers so I shall not
comment any further {im not being sexist
here, just wondering why bad driving is so often
associated with women} about the drivers in
Singapore these days? [and my father said
fu...ck again (which is the 3rd one I've heard since
the beginning of the month [what does This tell you
about the vulgarity of Singaporeans?])

Now I am at home.
My father was watching Harry Potter 3
(which I think is the only one who dosent
have Lord Voldemort?)
(To all Twilight fans: Im sure you all know this,
but Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter 4
is played by Robert Pattison aka Edward Cullen)
I am probably in deep deep trouble.
Because my father just came in
and saw me seeing a make-up video,
and is therefore going to suspect my masculinity
afterwards (If you do too, please read my previous
post [if you dont have the time too, I can insist
that I am 100% heterosexual {aka a boy who
(will) like(s) girls)}])
I have this vision that my future wife will
watch this kind of program,
and jump in front of me, and say excitedly,
"Guess who I am!"
And I can have this bored expression,
"You're Kylie Minogue from In My Arms"
*Watches her crestfallen expression*

While yet alive, before their tints had faded,
they glistened like the fairest flowers,
the product of primitive rivers; [...]
these jewels should have swam away.
-Henry David Thoreau

He who can no longer pause to wonder and
stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead,
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

Truth is not a matter of fact but a state of harmony
with progress and hope.
Enveloped only in its wings will we ever soar
to the promise of our greater selves
-Bryant H. Mcgill

Youtube

2009-07-16T15:36:00.016+08:00

I just finished surfing youtube.

Ok, lots of interesting stuff on youtube :D

Especially nonsense.

I like all the parodies and tabloids :/

I remember a Taylor Swift Song where they played

it backwads, and it sounded like she was singing

"I Shot Myself". That is so violent and uncalled for.

Then, there's this comment which says.

(Singer's name) makes my anus tingle

He makes my rectum sway in the breeze.

How twisted.

Then, theres always the make-up videos

which I like because I like the way they talk.
Its so retarded.

"First, you apply your mascara onto your mouth.

And then, stick your black lipstick into your mouth

and chew while sticking a thermometer up your asshole.

Then, prepare for some heavy Shit."

There's also a lot of spam (chain) messages.

"If you dont send this message to 5 videos in 5 mins,

Albus Percival Dumbledore the homosexual [no offence]

will fly out of your toilet and turn your nosehair into bats"

Ok, I admit, I've been listening to Katy Perry.

Matthew should listen more to her anyway.

Especially Ur So Gay.

(Speaking of which, there is a movie which says

Britney Spears got attacked by a homosexual

[how homophobic])

She says something very damn dirty at the end.

Speaking of which, my story has not been completed.

I thought I could write a lot today,

but I only wrote 6 lines.

Shi Yi makes it sound very real, with illustrations

and publishers.

Matthew says it useless

Right. He's the only person who can make me feel emo.

I have very little to talk today,

so I shall talk about Food.

I.E. the gastronominal delicacy that keeps

our intestinal desicated.

I've always hated capsicum.

I find they taste disgusting.

And I always vomit after I eat them.

Bleah.

At least there is selective colouring.

If I eat red and yellow capsicum,

I will have orange sick.

If I eat red and green capsicum,

I will have bloody mucus chyme.

If I eat green and yellow capsicum,

I will have chartreuse capsicum.

If I eat all of them,

I have black sick.

And I have to go to the nearest Chinese Physician,

who will probably assume that my regurtitated

spleen is bad blood, and will do this cool wushu effects

like on TV, where you strike the person's back and all the

bad blood made of lymphocytes, plasma and platelets

spatter in the camera screen in an array of scarlet droplets.

Of course, If I eat them and drink blueberry juice,

I will have rainbow chyme.

I just had a horrible meal anyway.

Im feeling slightly dizzy.

Its 10 o' clock now and I am financially

worried about my Chinese Compo 2morrow.

I finally understand how life works.

That sounds complicated, dosent it?

Now, I cant use singlish in my posts,

because its supposed to be unsophisticated lor.

Aiyah, neva mind lah,

if Phua Chu Kang can do it,

So can I.

I shall Stand Up For Singapore.
And Reach Up To The Skies.

I Will also do all my homework and pledge to

be a proper singaporean,

never giving up my place on the MRT to pregnant

ladies and handicapped old people with children,

who, incidentally, I have never seen before in the MRT.

Hi! This is from Friday.

This post has been in my draft box since wednesday :D

(A long time isnt it)

And I decided to post it.

My post for today will be coming out soon :P

Since this post is actually very short.

Yesterday had Tuition :D

Wasnt as bad as I thought.

Except for the fact I didn complete my homework.

That is the 1st time in 3 years I didn finish.

Gah. That is mildly irritating.

Want to know something interesing?

In 1278, there was a man named John Le Fu*ker :D

Hahahahaha.

Ok, thats enough of vulgarities :D

Seriosuly, it is very sick.

What kind of surname is that?

Lucky his name wasnt amy.

If they want a role model,
they can have Miley Cyrus
-Katy Perry

There's more to life than cheek bones.
-Kate Winslet

I would kiss a frog even there were no promise
of a Prince Charming. I love frogs. I'd lick them.
-Camerion Diaz

等着你

2009-07-13T16:06:00.025+08:00

Waiting for eternity...

Waiting for hope...

Waiting for treasure...

Waiting for doom...

Its interesting how there's always a 2morrow, isnt it?

I have no 2morrow.

Because I have not practised my violin.

Im only Grade 6 and slacking like a fool.

By the time Grade 8 is here and I am in

Year 3 (in Nus High), I will diiiieeee.

Im veri sick of constant practising.

I.E. I am not Jia Ying.

I.E. I am not a girl.

Its not my style.

Oh, its not that I don like my teacher.

I do, just that hes so involved and I am so...bleeaargish.

When will I be emancipated from this torture?

In a long, long time I suppose.

Today is a bad school day.

Not a bad day.

I am very clear about these useless things.

So many frigging tests...

Chem is so tough...

2 tests a day is more than my retarded, pervertic

(thanks Matthew) brain can handle.

I probably didn do that well for the 1st test.

Seeing as it was open book and I forgot my file,

so I had to borrow Shi Yi's giant chemistry book...

Sorry if there are any creases Shi Yi :D

The chem book is in fact quite useless,
but a very interesting read.
Should have done it for English.
"My favourite extract in the book is:
about thermalistalia where x(power n)
equals to the parantheses of delta crap,
which is the value at which
gold condenses into shit,
causing bloogleflip to hyperbolie,
scantilising flailopa into wougcikopel,
vifedoranging the xylophlappie,
causing a neutralising reaction
between the iufukleta and weixuanicus"

Jollyfrog found the test easy...hm...
Pouring Acid on people is definitely not
an easy decision for my heart.
I must say he is very hardworking.
Why are people so hardworking when they can relax?
I will probably never understanding hardworking ppl
or be hardworking in my entire life.
Except for watching Drama Serials.
I am very diligent in watching Televison.
There is a certain art to leaving ur mouth open
and popping your eyes open.

a
I also have to do my accursed Maths.
So many tutorials and assignments, so little time.
Not to mention P.E. 2morrow. 2.4km...hm..
And chinese.
I think I didn do that well for Compo.
But, I shall remain positive.
History...ugh. I havent finished the readings
she gave us like 3 weeks ago??
P.S. What is socialism :D
Lets not dwell on unhappy things.
Lets talk about something else :D
a
Going to Jollyfrog's house this week.
He says his sister's a barbarian.
Does barbarian apply to women by the way?
It could be barbaress.
According to him, she's a bit short.
With slightly curly hair that goes all over the place.
Like a toilet brush (this is my inference)
Im not painting a good impression of her, am I?
Its called Imagery.
Something that you learn in English,
which you use every day if you have an incredily
overactive imagination (like mine).
Well, not maybe everyday.
Like a woman screaming at another woman,
"You Bitch!"
See? Thats imagery.
Because Bitch is a female dog.
And humans are not dogs.
This is called a metaphor.
The opposite of this is called
anormorphosis (when you give an animal human characteristics), personification or whateva.
And you are using a metaphor, which is directly
saying something is something else.
a
Ohh Crap,
my violin teacher is coming in 5 minutes.
I close this browser b4 he comes here and hears,
"womanizer, womanizer, you're a womanizer"
But I guess I am so dead.
I pray to god that if I survive this,
I will practice my violin every day...for...
SHIT! I gotta go. Bye-bye.
Dont let the bedbugs suck your fresh, sweet blood
that tastes like fish.
Haha! Im back after a 2-hour "hiatus"
And I survived (or I could be typing this from Hell)
Thank You, God. Amen. Hallelujah.
a
Now, as I was playing the violin, I was thinking
about the Merlion. How on Earth did this happen??
I mean, it could only happen, as a famous author put
it, "[if] a randy lion had shagged a hormonal mermaid
by the sides of the Singapore River".
Enough of Genetic defects and impulsiveness.
Its time to talk about Litter!
(I decided to talk about the merlion because the merlion
vomits into the bay every day, therefore setting a very
bad example for all our non-littering, law-abiding
children of hormonal mermaids and randy lions)
Delicious, Yummy, Disgusting Litter.
Btw, I dont advise you to throw rubbish out of the window,
especially newspaper,
Imagine if it gets blown away by a piece of wind..
Lands on somebody's windscreen..
Who screams and swerves..
And crashes into another car..
Which causes traffic accident..
Which delays ambulance w/ blood supply..
Causing someone to die..
And his family members commit suicide..
And children are homeless...
And they grow up being abused and teased in orphanage...
Growing up to be like Adolf Hitler / Stalin...
Its all your fault because you littered.
Shame on you, you insignificant speck of meat
that was born of a randy lion and a hormonal mermaid,
who caused World War III (*insert evil and dramatic music*)
a
Have you heard the new National Day Song?
Personally, I dont really like it.
National Day is coming people,
better start waving retarded red flags and screeching,
"Stand Up for Singapore, Do the Best we Can"
I am always surprised that the giant screen at
Marina Barrage, does not crack year afetr year
of high-note, off-key torture.
(though I remember we sang off-key on purpose
when they handed us the microphone,
thereby helping pharmacies increase sales of
aspirin by 300% a day.
Strangely, all new customers came to the same
NDP rehearsal as us...must have been a coincidence)
I must admit though, the sad truth is,
Singaporeans are very anti-patriotic.
I bet half the people you see at NDP are hired
to provide backup vocals.
I remember that my dream (when I was 5 or 6)
was to appear on television during NDP.
And when the mediacorp didnt contact
me offering me a contract,
I would break my National Day Flag.
Which I am slightly jealous of the fact that my cousin
has 10 National Day Flags and I have zero.
Pity me. Please.
a
See the moon and the stars, see how far we have come.
See our faces shining brightly in the Sun [...]
What do you see?
-Electrico
a
When I change, I will start from my heart.
-Unknown

Like A Star

2009-07-11T11:53:00.013+08:00

I guess its been a while since I updated :D
Well, lotsa stuff has been happening of late,
including lots of new movies! *cheers*
And as usual, all the best movies are freaking censored.
I think I'm tall enough to pass of as 81.
What do you think??

Speaking of which, you've never seen people who've
collected they're pension, watch R-rated movies
with their spouse and giggle,
"Remember the time when we did that too?
Your father came halfway and screamed,'What in
fuc*'s name are you doing to my 14-year old daughter
you bast*rd!'"

Forgive me, but I am reading Yantong's book right now
"Curious incident of the Dog In The Night-Time"
which incidentally contains a lot of f-words like:
food, facetious, fish, fungi, and flirtatious.
Back to Moviemania!

The most recent one (to be released) is Obsessed,
and I am not obsessed about it. I think its a bit lame, actually.
Its about this woman (who is sick in the head)
who likes her boss (who is not sick in the head)
who happens to be married (to someone who is a bit sick in the head).
It kinda unnerves me that the
boss with secretary / assistant pairing is predictable,
like birth control pills after a night of Bingy Booze.

My only comment on Transformers is less sexual jokes please.
(theres a bit racism too, apparently)
Imagine:
"Look Mummy! She's eating his face!"
"Just enjoy the disgusting scene, darling"
"But he's so fat, hes been eating too much MSG!"
Does he taste like sugar, spice and everything pervertic?"
"You're only 5 dear,
now go and play with your *damn* transformers"

Though I admit that the visuals are fantastic.
Eveything else is kinda sucky.
No offence, die-hard fans.
I know that most of you will probably like the movie :D
Just Enjoy the Thrill and Exciting Visuals
(and the corny sexual jokes)
But Still, you've never seen any movie that has a G rating.
If you notice, it always says Sexual References
Directors and Scripwriters (like me)
are getting more dirty-underwear-minded.

Yesterday went to Popular.
I really want to read more of Jodi Picoult's books.
They make me want to cry.
I want to read Ninteen Minutes. and Picture Perfect
(which she wrote b4 I was even born)
I finished My Sister's Keeper a few days ago.
And the ending is different from the movie.
I shall not reveal any more spoilers.

Now, im w8ing for my father to come home.
I just read the Life Section and I saw a really corny joke
that I shall relay to you.
I still admire MJ btw.

So, Farah Fawcett died.
Then God said, "I shall grant you 1 wish."
Then Farah said, "I want the world's children to be safe"
So God killed Michael Jackson.

I mean, we're being kinda rude here.
He died 2 weeks ago and we are cracking jokes
about pedophilia.
My violin lesson is cancelled btw because its unrelated.
My fingers will have to w8 until monday to say
"Why the crap are you doing this to us?"

I've been having nightmares recently.
Its really scary.
You know its a dream,
yet you keep on sinking...sinking...like quicksand.
It seems so real, yet you cant get out of it.
I dreamt that I killed somebody.
I pushed him over a building.
I still remember it was sunset and near the ocean
Then he was struggling to hold on to the edge...
Then I said something like, "Its not nice to die, isnt it?"
Then I stepped on his hand and walked away.
I shall leave that with you to contemplate.
I know who is the person that I pushed,
which makes it even worse.

"Notice me, Take My Hand,
Why are we Strangers when our Love is Strong"
-Britney Spears

Happiness is like a star, the larger it is,
The more quickly it burns; and the more brighter it shines.
-Laughter

海綿·傑克森

2009-06-26T09:57:00.015+08:00

I cannot believe it.
Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest on
Wednesday and I didn even know.
The world is subdued.
Its on Yahoo now and was uploaded 48 mins ago.
Im so in w/ the news.
But wikipedia already has it up...
I have a bit of bias against wikipedia
for classified reasons *seeth*
And not to be offensive,
if you know Chinese and know the title of this post.
I think we should have a minute and bow our heads
in respect for this amazing person.

If you didn do that
and are reading this while picking your nose,
I must say you are very insensitive.
Now go and wash your finger.
Oh well, now for the nice part of singers.
Lady gaga is coming again \ (^_^) /
I know this is no time to be happy,
but still, we must all be optimistic and look
at the dark side (oops, sry, bright side :D)
of (crappy) things :D

Now, I was sure my tuition teacher
wasnt trying to be directly horrible,
but she asked me this question,
"Why do so many senior citizens commit suicide?"
To give myself credit, I gave 41 answers
(nah, thats just a blatant lie. I only gave 17 XP)
But Im sure if I put them down,
I will be mugged by a wheelchair.
Seriously, no offence
(I should put this catchphrase on a stamp)
(Im sure zx should know what I mean)
(Dont comment on that thanks)

School is starting soon...
Having mixed feelings on this.
I wanna laze around all day, yet I want something to do.
And I have been called 3 times by teachers in NUS high.
Look, I dont have any flu-like symptoms,
my temperature is only 39.7 degrees celsius,
(thats a joke btw, dont call IMH to discuss my recapture)
besides 1 week *achoo* is over and I..I.. *achoo*
am...*achoo* fine...*achoo* *achoo* *achoo* *spew*

I havent received that kind of fame
since I read "romeo and juliet" in primary school,
which coincidentally is the date "Love Story"
was released in US. Hmm.
Anyway, I am sick of Ultimatum.
I wrote a drama practically 7 months b4
and the story is so damn similar.
Grr. I wonder if I can claim copyright.
On the other hand, it could be a zero-in-million coincidence.
I think my English needs revising.

Ok, as for what am I doing now (other than blogging)
IS (dont laugh [or stroke]) watching... *drumroll please*
Spongebob Squarepants.
Yes, its true. Spongebob rox.
Season 1 is the best :D
Incidentally, is spongebob effeminate (homo sounds rude)
I dont think so.
But he dressed up as a woman.
I thought he was a guy.
Probably he's asexual ("no attraction whatsoeva*")
Im not even through season 1 but I can finish
everything 2day and finish sui bi :D
*like a dead magnet

Now, im going swimming
See you later, terminators.
(Personally, I dont really like the new
Terminator movie and Transformers movie.
[Custards pies to throw at my face for this comment
are currently unavailable])
And yes, im advertising Spongebob and Im paid
3 goofy goober dollars to do it.

Its quirky humour, colourful characters, and crazy
plot lines make it irresistible.
-Frankbooth Delarge

You may like it, or you may not believe that
you're watching something like this, but [...]
it will somehow get to you.
-Unknown

榴莲蚂蟥

2009-06-24T15:31:00.009+08:00

Today, I feel like being random again.
Because I am smarter than a 5th Grader. Hehe.
Fine, I did cheat a little (a lot).
Wikipedia sometimes fails (me) too

I just ate durians yesterday.
I havent eaten durians for a few years :D
Tried to ignore the smell of rotten fish.
The reason I ate it was for my aunt anyway.
Shes the durian queen.
She ate six pieces OMG
There goes 50 dollars flushed down our
drain-like gullets.
Or thrown into the fathoms-deep acid sea
of my stomach.
Incidentally, durians taste nice.

I mean, its kinda obvious if you die
and you smell of "tropical sensation".
Really, thats the name of the shampoo
I used when I was 7.
"Nurse, get me the deoderant...
and my anti-vomiting medicine while
you're at it, thanks"

There's (always) something else.
Why do so many authors stress the humour
of clean underwear in hospitals.
I mean, nobody is going to care if you have
brown underwear that smells suspiciously like..
well...brown stuff.
They'll just think its laughing gas.

My violin teacher just came over.
And he brought his violin and bow.
I'm not being pervertic or anything,
but its like a pimp showing off his wares.
He started it by saying his violin
was his girlfriend and the bow was his baby.
This is personal, but I prefer to get married
b4 my partner gets pregnant (with a baby who
is 1.5 times as long as his mother)
a

So cute

Then somehow we started talking about leeches
Things that go slurp in the night.
My violin teacher said they were so cute.
Btw, george washington died because all his idiot doctors
prescribed leech bloodletting.
How creepy. Poor Georgie Porgie. Death by suction cup.

By the way, you can spit on the leech
if it latches on to you.
It will auto-slide off.
Something to do with Amylase.
And when they were "inflated"
They were really squishy and fun to play with.
And he would slam it down on the floor and it would explode
(Implode sounds nicer, though)

"Look, its your blood
"Can I drink it back"
"Why Yes, you can,
because it has been infected with leech HIV.
Oh, and tell me if you win Best Actor for Star Awards 2010"Z

Then you will turn into Leechoman.
Maybe Bryan Singer can direct something else.
Leechoman has the magic(ally retardic) power to suck blood.
("Cannibal")
Then..."Based on a blog post by Chue Wei Xuan"
Though if I really wanted to "see my name in lights"
I could always change my name to "EXIT"

父亲节

2009-06-22T10:55:00.013+08:00

So, did u all made this year's father day a special occasion?
As usual, I made a card.
As usual, I put in minimum effort.
As usual, I did not do anything else.
As usual, I remained an ungrateful freak.
As usual, I felt guilty about it.
And I will probably repeat the cycle next year.

I made a vid of Hokkaido.
But, I cant upload it or/and the pictures.
I met someone my own age at the tour.

Interestingly, he has the same birthday as Shi Yi.
He lives in Boon Lay near Yaazhini.
He goes to New Town like My father.
Its just a coincidence I suppose.
But all coincidences are miracles.
Thats what my father says anyway.
I still remember a joke:

"ABCrap, give an expample of a coincidence"
"My father and mother got married on the same day"

Anyway, I realized parents love to compare.
Its a step by step procedure:

Compare height
Compare age
Compare school
Compare awkwardness (jk)

If you fail to comply with the above terms and conditions,
we will arrest you. Thank you.

Im getting veri sick of it :/
Of course, not all of u get sick of it.
Its annoying.
Its worthless.
Its embarrasing.
Its very kiasu.
How predictable.

Anyway, its nearly 12 noon.
And I am free....to finish English homework.
I've been blowing it up (off) since friday when I came back 0.q
My tooth hurts.
My feet hurt
My mind hurts (what is 1 + 1 btw)
My arms hurt
That was completely irrelevant cuz Im bored.

Anyway, I am running out of lame puns.
So something boring.
I discovered I can snap my fingers
Because Last time I couldnt :D
Now, can snap onli with left hand.

My violin teacher now expects me to practice 3 hours a day
He will regret it when he sees my
bloody fingers and my bloody brain.
Essentially, he wants me to practice
18 hours a week for a 1 hour lesson.

My blog contains 5.2% of vulgarity
So I will (dammit) try (shit) To (crap)
decrease (*censored*) it (assh*le) a bit (f*ck)

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.
Mother would come out and say,
"You're tearing up the grass."
"We're not raising grass," my dad would reply,
"we're raising boys.
-Harmon Killebrew

What's all this fuss about fathers
being present at the birth of their children?
The way events are shaping,
they'll be lucky to be present at the conception.
-George H. Davies

Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.
-William Wordsworth

Blessed indeed is the man who hears
many gentle voices call him father!
-Lydia M. Child

Your guiding hand on my shoulder will last forever.
-Unknown

The kind of man who thinks that
helping with the dishes is beneath him will also
think that helping with the baby is beneath him,
and then he certainly is not going
to be a very successful father.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

快乐与满意渡

2009-06-11T18:55:00.010+08:00

Hokkaido i.e. in 25 hours

First of all, I'd like to say this.
Never trust a dentist who says "Oh Shit"
when she is bending over you.
I was like "You Need A Tic-Tac. Eighty-four of em"
I mean, if dentists' breath can smell that bad,
well, my breath could knock out a few cows.
(So that's how those perfect hunters caught such
large game. They didn floss after eating raw cow.
Tsk, tsk)

Singapore is one of the least happiest countries in the world.
Who is the twit who said that?
Singapore is like the 2nd lowest level of happiness.
Satisfaction of life is one of the highest.

ARGH! Whats wrong with being happy, may I ask?
"Oh hi, your smiling.
Great, you have the right to remain silent.
*handcuffs you*
(I bet the handcuffs have D: printed on top :D)
*Protest* Oh tell it to the prosecutor, freak"

I can just imagine....

"Sir, the defendant was *ahem* (whispers) smiling..."
(pathetic) crowd gasps.
"I'll let you off this time imbecile,
but you will have 96 hours of community service.
Lets see whether you will dare smile again!"

What happened to Sugar, Spice, and everything nice?
I hope this is one of those cheesy cartoon flicks
where everything is backwards.

"Oh, hi your smiling.
Here's $10'000 for you and your family"
And then you will proceed to donate at least of it to charity,
and all the little children at the orphanage will be
smiling and cheering....
If only. I hope thats how the world will be.

We must feel very happy to be sad.
(I wonder how many people understood my last sentence)
Luckily we have happy emos like Adam Lambert.
Joking of course, to all glambert fans.
I dont want be mobbed.

In exactly 12 hours, I will be at the airport.
And in another 24 hours, I will be in Japan.
Yes, I have to reach the airport at 6:30 :/
A tad difficult as I woke up at 2 o'clock 2day :D
But I woke up at 4 am the day b4 though..
My body clock has a problem.
They have to cut me up and readjust my hour hand.

I don think I can blog there though,
seeing as I am not bringing any laptop or anything there.
I have to find a way to smuggle my gameboy inside.
Hehe.
Anyway, Im bringing sui bi there to do.
Maybe I can write 4 pages :D
But since I lost my camera (whoops),
my father has to use this camera with
only 100 spare slots left.
How inconsiderate.
He always knows I take at least 400 pics. Hmph.

Urgh. I don feel too good.
I knew eating 2 boxes of chocolate was a mistake.
Hopefully I'll feel better 2morrow :D

转变

2009-06-09T20:21:00.012+08:00

I've thinking about plates.
Those ceramic circular objects that makes
mothers turn into Banshees when they're cracked.
"Get Out of The Way!"
She screams as she charges
quicker than an enraged rhinocerous.

Proceeding to fluorish a broom and dustpan,
faster than any magician, she sweeps the
broken pieces away, mumbling "So Clumsy"
as she does so.

"Why do you always stuff my face with rice?
I cant breathe you know.
I left my inhaler in my last life, you ****
Im gonna get diabetes if this goes on.
How the hell are the doctors inject me with insulin?
You'll pay for my medical fees, I tell Ya.
prepare to hear from my lawyer.

Stop pummeling my face with that spoon.
U've used that fork so many times I have
to go to Alex Tan's Clinic for plastic surgery.
My face is so disfigured. Im so ugly*
How am I gonna date girls and have little babies?
Oh w8, Im a plate.
I cant even MOVE.

Why'd u have to do this to me??
*sniff* All I did was crush a million ants and kill
somebody. Well, he stepped on my foot!
He deserved it!
Now leave me alone.
I want to commit suicide!
What the! Now I cant even end my accursed life!"
* I read a book called Ugly by Charlotte Briscoe.

And that is why children are so considerate as
to let them go to a better place by smashing
them into a gaboozallion pieces.
Its just that their mothers dont appreciate our kindness.

I just read about this article where they saw
some unknown creature. I think its a curachuca (spelling?).
A curachuca is some kind of mythical creature
that is rumored to eat birds, farm animals etc.
Its said to have no fur (check), a small head (check),
a grey body (check), and a small tail (check).

Why cant people accept that it's something natural?
This is a touchy subject,
and all the pouffed-up scientists can ignore this.
Everybody in my family insists
that the body parts were sewn together i.e. its fake.
Genetically Modified was also a possibility.
Cant we just accept that this is just Mother Nature's Doing?
I sound like one of those despos who tie themselves to
trees to save the environment of the "woody-crap owl".
Not insulting naturalists here,
I really admire them :D Im a nature person after all.

I did my homework yesterday.
I did it listening to Britney Spears and Carrie Underwood.
I just watched MV for Just A Dream (Carrie Underwood)
Its so sad... *sniff* yet its so amazing.
I want Carnival Ride :D
English is hard. I'm am (probably maybe) sure what I wanna do.

Bored people are unintelligent
-Donald Trump

Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as
you parade through each day convinced that every task,
no matter how menial or boring,
brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.
-Og Mandino

烧烤将士

2009-06-07T23:05:00.010+08:00

Ok, so I went for BBQ at Chelsea's house.

It was quite fun.

Except that my butt hurts :/

Thanks to that wheely thing.

The only one to stay on the most was Shi Yi.

I ended up half-somersaulting off :]

Then, Shi Yi left at 8:15

And we (they) played House of The Dead 2?
To blow a hole in somebody's head is considered kinda vulgar.

So is shooting an innocent person in the *between the legs*

And then laughing about it.

Right.

Presumably the reason I had nightmares last night.

Or maybe thinking about that disgusting prawn He owes me.

Seriously, not thanks. Zombie Prawns taste better with

mayonnaise instead of chilli.

I dreamed that Shi Yi and Yantong were

shoplifting for bubble tea. And they got caught.

Somehow, they ended up on some MRT station.

And I have dreamt of that MRT station b4

in another dream (starring Ze Xuan).

Gah.

My father got a new GPS lately.

And he's annoyed because

I could get it working and he couldnt.

Its very funny because its an outdated model.

"Hey! I told you to turn right! Why arent you turning right???

TURN RIGHT NOW and crash into the wall like I order

you to, infidel. Then I can get a new owner and cause more

deaths MUAHAHAHA.

a
Sadly, nobody appreciates us anymore.

When they don get to the correct place,

they slam and beat us.

*sniff* We did our best, and we don deserve this

kind of abuse. Curse you, flithy humankind.

IM NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN ANYMORE!

U will bow to us, and GPS shall Take Over The World.

*confidential crap*

Now, turn left in one hundred metres off that bridge."

Hehe. Im not so IT-backwards after all :D

Chelsea's Condo is Huge.

And I like the swimming pools :D

Its the kind that people drown in in Dramas.

P.S. Happy Holidays :D

女神卡卡

2009-06-04T18:06:00.011+08:00

I'm probably acting like those fans who boast
they have over 8961243327523 posters of the
(unfortunate) celebrity. U can ignore the 2
paragraphs below if you want.

("Too bad I got more than you.
Nanny-Nanny-Poo-Poo. Now come get drunk with me
because she refused to autograph for the 164th time my
photograph of her, which incidentally has many lipstick
disfiguration marks made by my endearing wife.

And after that, let's go stalk her for her personal photo."
"Sikko. Get Away before I bash you
with this American-Idol diamond-studded microphone
(which was illegally made by the way and has
Simon Cowell's signature on it!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG WHERE'S MY HEART PILLS)")
*hyperventilates*

But, Lady Gaga is coming to Singapore.
I bet nobody cares other than me :D
But I don really care. I mean, fat chance I'll even
see the commercial for it.
Seeing as I am now in total disgrace.
Nuff said.

My Tuition teacher just left.
After a very bizzare occurence where I showed
her my test paper. Surprisingly, she did not need
a defibrillator when she looked at my paper.
Cool. The world needs more ppl like her.

Anyway, I am (still) stuck at home because my violin
teach said he would come at around 2 pm. Great.
Am I stuck in a time warp or something?
And I'll wake up to find the world is so technoligically
advanced that there are flying cars, expeditions to whatever
planet and bombs that are made of birthday cards.
Its getting very cliched.

(Happy Birthday you sad old twat
because that will be the last piece of cake
you will be eating in your life, oh and that pink floral
vest really dosen go with your beer belly. Oh, look at
the time. See you in Heaven (or Hell*) BOOM)
Seriously, that plot is getting pretty cliched.

Pardon my sarcasm today :D
I am feeling bummed about the AFF47 incident :/
Maybe I should have put this at the front.
Oh well. Im too lazy.

*They say if you commit too many sins you
may be reincarnated as an animal. If I really
do that, I wanna be a sloth. Their shit is green.

伤心是快乐之母

2009-06-02T22:33:00.009+08:00

I never thought I could feel so Happy.

I feel so intoxicated.

I really don know why I feel so happy 2day.

I woke up today, when that bolt of euphoria struck me.

I ended up singing in the toilet loud enough to wake my mum :D
.

My fav song has changed.

To "Some Hearts".

It has this tune that is hard to catch.

Like butterflies.

I am feeling poetic today. Analogical Imagery.

Weird on how I am happy on the most mundane of days.

Maybe its because I wrote a song about a Puppeteer :D

There's two versions:

When The Puppeteer always controls
everything and the want to be free
.
When The Puppeteer always fixes your broken toys
Imagery as to how parents fix our broken hearts :P
Sappy, but nice :D

Just Smile

I have realized that I never put any sad smileys on anything in my life.
I wonder if that's a bad thing :D
I also wonder if I should get a (new) facebook and a (new) MSN.
Twitter is weird. I will see too :D
Considering Mr Low will be on.

My Violin Teacher came. Reschedule of "Torture"
Surprisingly, I played well. The Reason?
Two of My Four Strings Broke :/
It turns out my violin is a "rare" type that can use Titanium Strings.

Btw, I hope the ppl on the AFF47 are ok.
Crashing into the Atlantic OMG got 216 ppl.
Last Titanic Suriver Died Too :/
Couldn even w8 until 2012 when the monument is completed.

Ok, I suspect some high-ranking
person may denounce me for this,
but why is Euphoria related to Bipolar Disorder and Mania?
The wikipeople must have this prob in the 1st place :D. No offence.

Speaking of Wikipedia, my prob is still not resolved,
Kudos to Ze Xuan for helping.
Some idiot is using my IP address and
changing Wiki Articles to "vulgar and innapropriate".

And Wiki is threatening to Ban Me.
Oh Well. I can survive without that I suppose :D
A lot of people say Wikipedia is innacurate anyway.
I'm taking a neutral stance before I end up screaming
"Citations Needed" in the face of smuggy pig-faced human.

Where your Pleasure is, there is your treasure

Where your treasure is, there is your heart!

Where your heart is, there is your Happiness!

-Unknown

Sadness ... only real when kept to oneself

Happiness ... only real when shared.

~ Laughter (I am not joking)

Happiness comes when your work and words

are of benefit to yourself and others.

-Unknown

路程

2009-05-31T21:35:00.010+08:00

Henderson Waves

Ok, I walked that crazy super-long bridge again.

But the view is very nice from Henderson Waves.

Its high enough that if you drop down,

people will mistake you for a suicide victim :D

U can see Keppel Harbour.

If that is Keppel Harbour :/

Or just a place where people like to swing

cranes around and be melodramatically pathetic

as they depart.

Walked from my condo to Vivo omg.

My legs feel like dropping off :P

So sad, my camera got problem T_T

i.e. never charge so no pics

What does i.e mean anyway?

Irrational Euphoria?

Which I have a lot of :/

My aunt came over today with her

home-made 棕子. She asked us to be

our guinea pigs :/ aka professional

connoisseur.

I think that was spelt wrongly

but Cant be bothered :D Explain to Zx

first before he complains *rolls eyes*

Dunno why Zx is so hardworking :D

Update: I checked the dictionary.

And the dictionary is so funni.

As funni as UOB.

If they sue me 2morrow,

I'll pretend I have Swine Flu.

The Papparazi Music Video is so creepy.

It reminds me of Harper's Island :/

Not gonna say anything abt it

because it wasnt supposed to be released.

Curses. Lady Gaga said on twitter "STOP LEAKING
MY ____________ VIDEO"

Oh for goodness sake, use ur imagination.

Ok, its 11:00 pm in the night and I'm still watching television.

No, Im nt watching Harper's Island masochinistic freaks.

I am watching Discovery Channel. What is on anyway?

*Giraffe Impersonation*

i.e. stretches neck.

Some nature program.

Btw, this is a reminder to all pervertic people.

If you respond to Matthew's perversm (yes this is correct)

by acting negatively instead of nonchalantly, you're

pervertic yourself.

This theory is by my father.

I've been reading Neil Humphreys.

He is so funny :D

There is paricularly one part which tickles me.

"...'This one's for you, pervert'..."

Seeing as I'm a pervert.

Unshockingly unlikewisely.

Perversion is a concept describing those types of

human behavior that are perceived to be a serious

deviation from what is considered to be orthodox or normal

-Wikipedia

将来与昔日

2009-05-29T16:32:00.008+08:00

Abundance III

Warning. This is a long post.
Chronological order from bottom to up :D

Today - Friday

Beware. Bullshit ahead.

Haha, English autobiography gt top in class w/ Yong Kuan.
51 / 60. Yay me.
I got this green moleskine journal for a prize yeah :D

Im 7th in class. Whoohoo.
Got practically B+ for everything .__.
Except Bio and Maths haha :D
4.21 / 5.00 (total CAP)
Thats like.... 84.2 /100 ? Yeah.
Good, but must improve :D

So, we couldn find somewher to eat...
Went to my house 0.q (Personal expression)
Zx had to fetch his sis so he didn come ._.
Anyway, we went to my grandma's house to eat.

Yantong has some funni eating habits rofl
Sorry if this offends u Yt, im just saying.

Eating the whole fish fillet w/out cutting it firs
Sucks the teabag? haha
She ate until rice was on her chin :P
The way she chews...hm...

Funni Jy choked and laughed the most, Yet she finished first.
Then we went to my house and jy started to play my violin??
Then jy and shiyi started riding that
horse thingy which I neva use haha :D
I hope Jiaying wont get scolded as
she gonna reach home (at least) 15 min late...

Yesterday - Thursday

Joyous Rivers

We went to Marina Barrage for some heritage walk.
How izzit related to heritage?
Btw, has anybody noticed that Sir Stamford Raffles
has silly sideburns :D

I liked the optical illusion one.
Abundance III
What a weird name 0.0
It looks like an oval from "different points of perspective".
Some ppl wrote "somebody loves somebody"
on the inside of the sculpture 0.q
Roy Litchenstein Paintbrush strokes are nice too.
Abstract is nice :D

But then we had to do this reflection thingy.
Yantong started hitting people on the head w/ it =.=
Brain Concussion.
No wondr Im so retarded :P

I cannot remember what the flognorg
I did on Wed so nvr mind :D
Some social grace thing. How to talk, sit and eat shit.
Nah, just joking.
Hopefully, it will be useful ;___; when Im at a cocktail party
and everybody looks like they swallowed a lemon to
achieve that puckered-up expression.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
-Annie Millard

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey.
It reminds us to cherish each moment,
because it will never come again.
What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.
-Patrick Stewart

They say that time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself.
-Andy Warhol

音乐融合

2009-05-27T16:33:00.009+08:00

I love it :D
Even if u don like music, but u know both songs
(Love Story, Viva La Vida)
Please listen its fantastic :D
Wonder how it would sound like with lyrics?

So, starting my post with my amazing vid.
I got both bio pracs today.
I really wanna change my blogskin.
Since everyone is going on a blog-template changing trend...

We went to the same old Kopitiam
then the aunty scolded us for bringing outside food in .___.
I don feel like posting anymore so bye-bye :D
Maybe I'll tell you 2morrow :D

早早抱佛脚

2009-05-25T20:32:00.007+08:00

Script-checking day... ( crap-passing night )

What can I say...oh yeah...

U CAN GO AND *censored*

Miss / Ms / Mister *censored*

I doubt that cutting my wrists will solve the problem :D

Studying actually works :/ : :\

If only...

If only I would stop saying that...

Ok, I should stop rambling on about vulgarities.

(YES, exam is a vulgar word. Like Apple and Television)

My Aunt is coming back from her working holiday,

3 months in China :D Im going to go fetch her

Seeing as Im using her laptop now . _________ .

阿

Yay! Im sick of searching for inspiration

for funny stuff. I need to go on a break to

search for my funni streak of colour :D

My colour is monochromatic. For now.

阿

“Some people don’t look up until their flat on their backs.”

阿

This means that some people can’t look up

because something has happened to their necks

so they can’t look up for example, if a person

gets kicked in the neck by a kung fu midget,

they will not look up.

阿

This is damn funny.

Below, I mean, not up.

So if you are as inobservant as a freak,

I am Speechless.

But not typeless :D

WARNING: There are mild vulgarities
such as *censored*.

HEHE, as IF Im gonna give examples.

If you are reading this,

that means that you are

a) very clever

or b) vely vely stoopid lik mee

or c) very very supercaliexpialidoucious

(that was a real word see Mary Poppins)

(I presume you have forgotten what the hell

I am writing this paragraph for. Please look

at the funny link below :D)

http://funnyexamanswers.com/

阿

I was thinking about how people seem to read

the Bible a whole lot more as they get older;

then it dawned on me -

they're cramming for their final exam.

- George Carlin

相思豆

2009-05-23T12:14:00.008+08:00

After 3 months of backbreaking work
(*crack* ".....my spleen....")
My Saga seed has sprouted :D
Sing Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! .ect Nonsense
It looks like a cute little green bean :/
Except that you cant eat it. Or you will choke
and die frothing at the mouth like some rabid centipede.

Good news for me, haha.
I just watched Night At The Museum II yesterday :D
Then today, I'm watching Angels And Demons.
MUAHAHAHAHA!

3rd good thing.
My father just bought DRAMA MOODS 101
HAHAHAHAAHA *choke* *cough* *cough* *gasp*
WHERE THE %!@#*^& IS MY ASTHMA INHALER?

Ok, I found it. Whew!
Im listening to it now. Too bad there's no lyrics,
Just music. At least I know most of the songs :D
Bored, so I did this:

Don play play, onli 2% of the world is the same as me =.=
Please ignore naturegem, that used to be my game name :D

http://www.mypersonality.info/

I am NOT advertisisng.
Just surfing for something to do :P and I found this,

http://creation.com/

Ok, the (above (some people have no sense of direction) ) website
is for geeky people who have nothing to do and you want to
study science from another perspective.
Now, for some trademark sappy quotes :D

Plant a love seed for your beloved and it grow by itself
-Unknown

An insurmountable divide between the lovelorn hearts
-Unknown

天使与魔鬼

2009-05-21T10:37:00.014+08:00

I want to watch Angels And Demons...it looks so scary 0.0
I read a bit of the book and the way the Illuminati
kill the people really makes you want to spew.

The demon above also looks scary.

Well, maybe thats because I couldn sleep yesterday night.
I'm sure you wouldn be able to sleep if you watched an

Assination (no, its not Valkyrie. Its a REAL ASSASINATION.

That Happened 20 years ago.

Yet I still woke up at 8 to watch American Idol :D

KRIS ALLEN WON. No, I don support either one of them.

Because if I support Adam, I will be attacked by the other

group and vice versa. Which is another way to say that

I love both of them or I hate both of them.

And they're starting American Idol 9 next January.
W8 until its American Idol 30 and the judges are in their 60s.

NO MORE SIMON! I wonder if thats bad or good news =.=

Its weird that tonight, he was the last one to speak.

He has a severe phobia of singing praises :D

Im feeling so retarded today 0.0
And Yes, this is just a copy-over from my
earlier post that I drafted instead.
I really have very little to talk about :D

Other "How to be" stuff which is so wrong:

Distol
Uranium
Masticular
Bi
Acetone
Systonic
Shit

Im very sure I have this Disease =.=

On the bright side, Medisave is now hosting a new package for
mentally disturbed patients who require medical care.
At 30% off all your medical fees,
now you can throw tantrums at your
psychiatrist in the best of comfort :D
Contact your nearest Sistic hospital outlet today!

Apparently, there's a little red demon dwarf that haunts the city,
and before every major bad thing that's happened,
it's appeared to somebody. Last time, he appeared in a Cadillac.
- Meg White

美国偶像

2009-05-20T20:22:00.008+08:00

Ok, its not that I hate Simon Cowell,

But I dont really enjoy American Idol.
Ok, the auditions are damn funny,

like William Hung . Forgot him?

Never mind, click on the link.

Ok, back to my impersonation of Simon,
I don really like American Idol(s) because...

I think its very competitive.

And its not really fair because everybody

sings different genres of songs.

(take Adam Lambert and Kris Allen for instance)

Oh Well. But I'll be definitely watching today's

episode. Though I can guess who the winner is

gonna be. I'll tell you if I'm correct 2morrow :D

Ok, now to criticize yet another TV series
that everybody enjoys.
I watched a very gruesome episode yesterday.
I mean, who the heck uses metal detectors
to find a body =.=
And they didn even complete the stori lor.

Sorri, but my singlish needs improvement.
I really feel that they should
make Singlish a national language.
Lessons should be conducted in Singlish...

Better Yet, lessons in Singlish and Hokkien
I'd love to see the nation turn into a loan shark den.
Then whole Singapore will be shaking with renditions of
*Censored* *Censored* *Censored*
Singapore will be a ah-beng, zi-lian country.
And no ah-beng / lian is complete without:

Earrings
Tattoos
Dyed Hair
At least 3 kg of Jewellery
A foul mouth

Maybe not such a good idea after all,
Then Singapore would literally be shining brighter than the rest.
Im too young for Eye Surgery.
but IF they had a test on Singlish,
I pass with flieing caler lor.
I wonder how many people understood that =.=
Btw, the wiki page for Singlish is haha......"chimmy"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singlish

Im looking forward to some new songs :D
Colbie Caillat is realeasing "Breakthrough" in a few months
Carrie Underwood is also gonna release her 3rd album :D
Though what she sings is ont really country =.=

Singlish is not a dialect but the semi-demi-literate
Singaporean's version of English.
-Unknown

Singlish is just one of many colourful variations
of english language in the world.
-Unknown

“巧克力”

2009-05-19T11:56:00.010+08:00

In the beginning, God created heaven and Earth

Then he created 6 more things thhat I forgot.

Then he created man.

Well, it would be boring if everything was perfect.

Anyway, I realized I was being idiotic.
Which is Im updating this post for the 3rd time
Right after this, I am going to smash this laptop u
with a metal sledgehammer.
Because right after I finshed typing this Entire thing out,
IT CRASHED
so I had to retype everything. Urrgh.

I also realized I was being childish.
No surprises there, sincese Im still using diapers and pacifiers.
And I still wet the bed. (joking, obviously)
When the bed's not mine, obviously.
Who wants to sleep in their own salts, water and urea?
Besides, Im helping to paint the bed yellow.
White color also can. Just drink more barley.

I hate barley. It tastes so barleyish. Dont all of you realize
that it looks (and tastes (jus joking)) like diluted mucus?
They all say that Barley makes ur...um...
(I don wanna say "uri*e" so I'll say "chocolate" instead)

So they say that Barley cools you down
therefore turning the chocolate white (milk choc :D).
Shouldn it turn the chocolate white directly??
I mean, the colour of Barley is, *ahem*

Ok, I remember yesterday, when my mother dropped
some gravy into her soup,
I screamed, "DIFFUSION" then when she was
straining the barley, "OSMOSIS"
she dropped all the dessert. Such a waste. So careless.

Admittedly, it is getting boring watching
housewives commit unspeakable crimes.
And my game console is still in Error 74.
I dont dare to tell my parents
Or my Whole Game Console will be in
the same state as an osteoporotic rhinoceros.
Luckily I still have the wonderous invention called ....
the TV.

Roald Dahl used to write how horrible the
TV is. He obviously didn watch Desperate Housewives.
Or any other TV show for that matter.
Seriously Deprivation of Television is tantamount
to murder and homicide.

The Little things ... are taking me over.
-Colbie Caillat

家庭英雄

2009-05-18T10:32:00.007+08:00

True, Im bored, but not as bored as Ze Xuan.
a

Because... I can finally watch:

Desperate Housewives Season 5

Heroes Season 3

Couldn catch Desperate Housewives on Channel 5

because of *ahem* specified reasons.

And this is a Dirty Laundry edition a.k.a Director's Cut :D

They say Felicity Huffman (Lynette Scavo) will be leaving...

Who is "they" U mean, well just about every tabloid magazine

with a photographer who bears an uncanny resemblance
to a dishonest Pinnochio aka BIG NOSTRILS AND LONG NOSE.

All the better to sniff you, My Dear.

These people have nothing better to do, izzit?

Thats why I considering joining them. u can get $5000 a picture!

Ive noticed that my posts are getting less and less funnier.

Cant be helped.

Liposuction really sucks the joy out of everything.

My father also bought Heroes Season 3
OMG OMG OMG
I didn have the heart to tell him that Ive already watched until
the finale of Season 4, which happens to be last episode
of the entire thing. And the ending sux btw.

Btw, there's a solar eclipse somewhen (=.=)
In July I think. And were all gonna get radiationed
by the moon and turn into freaks with 3 brains :D
Looking forward to that.

Now im listening to Colbie Caillat.
She looks a hell lot like Jeniffer Aniston on her album cover.
Anyway, half her songs arent available for download.
Its a sad world after all :D

To waste my meaningless life away,
Im writing more drama stories than ever.
And Ive changed my mind about the Golden Point Thingy.
I hate all the rules and regulations. Sry, Ms Tan.

I just Realized that since camp has been postponed...
I can watch the Ultimatum on the 27th! Whoop!
Plus, Im going to watch Angels and Demons!
Next Monday. I wanna watch it now =.=

Yesterday was my cousin's birthday! We ordered
some kind of dim sum for Yum Cha (spelling?).
It was pretty good actually, especially the dessert :D
Here are some of the stuff I ate:

Pineapple fried Rice
Pineapple fried Rice (Not a repeat)
Curry
Curry Chicken
Satay
Egg Tarts
Siew Mai
Rice Dumpling
Spring Roll
Shrimp Dumpling
Ice Cream
Chicken Wings
Sushi :D
Sashimi (*Vomit*)
My Gingko Dessert
Chinese tea
Potato Chips
Ice Cream (not a repeat)

Thats when my grandma said,
"Boy, U so skinny, must eat more"

I just love my grandmothers sense of humour.
Except that she wasnt joking.

蝴蝶婴儿

2009-05-17T11:46:00.007+08:00

Don ask me why im posting, I just feel that boredom's
gonna set in pretty soon.
So im doing something randomically lame. I need help.
A butterfly just laid about a hundred eggs in my room,
and theyve hatched.
So my bed is now a caterpillar manure pile.

What am i going to do?
I cant just leave them on my ceiling to poop and die.
Plus, there is a spider w8ing there to make them into
Singapore Sashimi.
I dont even know what species they are :/
Well, the adult is a small brown butterfly,
and the caterpillars are reddish brown.
Could somebody help me do the research? :P

Maybe I could feed them with my father's pepper plant.

I just finished making gingko dessert for my cuz.
It was his birthday 2 weeks ago but he wants to celebrate
2 weeks later .____. Weird. My mum wanted to make
ICE JELLY o.O but....we ran out of sugar >.<
Then we had to use a hammer to smash the nuts.
I think we're the ones going nuts =.=

At the Supermarket, I saw a woman whose hair
was multicoloured and braided, and it reminded me of Medusa.

Medusa was at first a pretty nymph who distracted Zeus's wife
Hera when Zeus was canoodling with Medusa's friend.
Hera discovered the affair and turned Medusa into a monster.
She had wings, a head of snakes,
and her stare could turn anybody into stone.
And her skin was replaced with scales.
On the bright side, nobody satyed alive
long enough to criticize her :D

Medusa was eventually slain by the Hero Perseus
with help from Athene, who turned Medusa's decapitated head
into part of her armour to intimidate enemies.
Strange enough, when Perseus killed Medusa the Gorgon,
Pegasus the winged horse flew out of her
neck after her beheading. How interesting.

They made a poem on the killing of Hercules
You've all watched the Disney movie, havent you?
His death would be rated PG-13.
Hercules's wife was kidnapped by a (moronic) centaur
And our bighead Hero shot him with Hydra-venom arrows
The centaur told Hercules's wife to collect some of his blood
(Dont ask me why)

Then, when Hercules became incorrigibly violent and abusive,
his wife soaked his favourite coat into
the poisonous blood of the centaur.
So, when hercules put it on, the venom dissolved his skin
and the pain was so excruciating he burned himself alive.
THE END :D

----------End of Post----------

Let me give you a riddle as a parting word :D

What 5-letter English word is spelt wrong
by every single person in our class? :P

钢琴钱

2009-05-16T20:08:00.011+08:00

I wish I could say that I practiced 3 hours a day on my violin
until I could give you a grotesque description of blisters.
But Saints dont lie (Just Joking :D)
Anyway, my violin teach asked me a very
interesting question when we were slacking:
What makes a $50 note worth $50? aka what gives it its value?
Its not any of the following:

Serial Number
Watermark
That shiny thingy =.=
Yusok Ishak's creepy face
The picture(s)
The Colour
All of the Above

A economics prof. couldn say the answer.
So, u have 6 days to come
up with the answer, including me =.=
Just went to Borders to get a birthday present for my cuz.
Where I bought yet another book.
All the books I bought must be worth more than
Oprah Winfrey's Talk Show. 0.0
Recently, a lot of singers went on it, like:

Justin Timberlake
Taylor Swift
Colbie Caillat
Jason Mraz

I dont watch Oprah anymore, used to of course.
I stopped watching that since
Tom Cruise used her creame couch as a trampoline.
Hyperactiveness is uncurable these days ... tsk... tsk.

YAY! Its been confirmed! Im going to Hokkaido!
YEAH! *Dances A-go-go*
From the 12th to the 19th, I will be taking at least
1200 pictures of nonsensically beautiful nature.
The average temp. is onli 5 degress celsius D:
I dont fancy the idea of frostbite.
They say your toes and fingers will blacken and drop off
( like ripe mushrooms :D )

ANYWAY, I just realized that my father is a very ... man.
Yes, a very ... man. I mean, he makes you "..."
*ahem* I just realized something ridiculous about this.
It involves Green (*hint*hint*) Though thats a bit to subtle...

Anyway, time to stop beating around the coffe-making machine.
My father said that whichever secretary that
has ever served him has to cry because of him.
I can see where I got my sadistic streak from.
Im joking, obviously, which would explain why I can still stuff
my face with Ferrero Roche while typing this.

Man, I hate sarcasm. It sounds so hypocritic.
Better stop it before I turn into Ze Xuan.
No offence, zx, its not that I think sarcasm is wrong
I just want to stop doing it, ok? :P

Anyone who thinks that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit
has obviously never seen a custard pie thrown in someone's face.
Or heard of happy slapping.
-Unknown

Sarcasm is to the British, what Sincerity is to the Americans.
And it's easily proved. Just say "Have a nice day!"
-Unknown

Being rather proud of her still youthful looks she asked me:
'Do I look 50?' 'Not any more' I said.
-Unknown

西(什么)(什么)

2009-05-15T16:14:00.007+08:00

hm..what should I say for Physics? Did pretty well considering the
fact I dont have a calculator hehe. Hopefully I can get 1/2 of the marks.

No more school for one week!
And no more level camp because of H1N1.
Forgort to say yesterday :D
I am not posting on the class blog becuz I jus wanna finish this
and continue with my drama story :P
Pretty neutral :/

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Updating because I am in a an unpleasant,
transient affective state in which I feel a pervasive lack of interest
and difficulty concentrating on the current activity
aka bored becuz exam is over.
I suddenly feel my Life is so meaningless. =.=

Ok, so b4 jollyfrog, Lady Venegeance and Physics Alien and me
went to West Coast Park we changed into home clothes.
Shiyi and Yantong wanted to go to the toilet,
so me and Ze Xuan assumed they were changing and changed,
then we realized that they werent changing =.=

This reminds me of make-up :D (I love crap. Dont you?)

Eau de Toilette (french exam is next week)
Mascara
Eyeliner
Eyeshadow
Foundation
Blusher
Lip Gloss
Lipstick
Hair Cream
Moisturizer
Conditioner
Sunblock

Then we decided to have a drink at a kopitiam.
I still have this embarassing phobia of buying food from a vendor
I need professional help and a psychiatrist.

I very obviously did not take this photo. Just that we went to
West Coast Park and I forgot to bring my camera D:
They finally set up the giant pyramid. Ze Xuan didn wanna
climb it. The little kid in the pic is nice. That was random.
Again. Ze Xuan took a funny pic of me dancing 0.0

Then we went to the sea. My Life is a piece of rubber.
Soft, Supple and a user of Lux.
Wonderful analogy. Apparently I will do well for Biology 0.o
We're getting back our exams on Script Checking Day =.=

Anyway, we did that obstacle course and I was so "Sandy".
I havent played with sand for so long :DDDD
Yantong kept complaining about her bloody bruise.

By 2morrow, it would have turned into a purplish-black colour,
then a yellow-green colour (*ahem*)
Had lunch at Mac's then we started playing with the curry,
chilli and tomato sauce. I SPILLED SOME DOWN MY
SHIRT =.=

Then some girls from some other school were laughing.

Then there was this guy looking at
us. Retardating brain. Oh Well.
Then we went BACK UP the pyramid. Then we sang
some songs. hm. Not in Order.

You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)
Teardrops on My Guitar (Taylor Swift)
Innocence (Avril Lavigne)
Sk8er Boi (Avril Lavigne)
入燕 (Olivia Ong)
Barney
We Love (Hate) you
我的家（Joi Chua (whats her Chi name again Cai Xun jia?)
同心圆
荷兰村主题曲
飞圈 (瑞恩) (Rui En) (Im a fan like Shi Yi yay!)
Pokemon Theme Song
Pokemon Advaned Generation Theme Song
School Song
1/3 of National Anthem (Majulah Singapura)
Whiskey L____ (Mus ask Yantong)

Some I forgot. My memory is so poor.....
Anyway, I think the Chronology of events is wrong.
My posterior hurts =.= thanks to "that thingy" which
I don know what izzit anyway.

Went home at around 3 pm or somewhen after that.
(Is somewhen even a word?
Anyway, neutrophils are white blood cells.
So the answer is 1,3 and 4. Yeah! Im correct.
Luckily I remembered my ans :D
My bio is not that sucky after all :D

The future depends on what we do in the present.
- Mahatma Gandhi

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
-St. Clement of Alexandra

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is
by going beyond them into the impossible.
-Arthur C. Clarke

生物学

2009-05-14T11:48:00.014+08:00

Yeah Bio is over. Microscopes taste like lysosomes.

Enzymymically sour. Yucks.

2morrow its Physics! Then no more

exams! MUAHAHAHUAHUA! *cough* *cough*

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I think ill do one for physics 2morrow :D

Freefall is annoying.

Its the science of commiting suicide and

killer litter. Not a very pretty sight.

And its 1.5 hours. URRGH.

should start remembering Ms Lee's physics jokes.

Though I don feel like studying.

I hope they don give us another question on the

Ticker-Tape Timer. Its disgustingly confusing....

I have absolutely nothing to do so Im updating

this post at 8:30pm =.=

zx and me were talking about Taylor Swift

for a while now, so I felt bored and decided

to watch Taylor Swift stuff. Shes pretty funny 0.0

She as random as me :P

She had a video about a pigeon eating puke, and

how she caught it on camera.

Now I know where bird flu came from.

Then there was another one where her bass player

was like, sharing her flower headband,

and some bassist was being a paulie princess.

Btw, do u know that bees and dogs can smell beer :D

(this is so damn random)

If u detect any similarity between the songs,

no surprise. Thats wher I heard the song :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0
jWoq3COzts&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8

8w4A1vVaNmE&feature=channel_page

Anyway, Im watching Paris & Milan on TV right now.

So many drag queens. No wonder they've been evading

the subject of plastic surgery for so long...

Movies I wanna watch this year onli (out of ♥♥♥♥♥)

Angels and Demons ♥♥
Confessions of a shopaholic ♥♥♥
Slumdog Millionaire ♥♥♥
Detroit Metal City ♥♥♥♥
Love Matters ♥
X-men origins: Wolverine ♥♥
Night At The Museum ♥♥♥
Taken ♥♥♥
Up ♥♥
Harry Potty VI ♥
New Moon ♥♥
Fantastic Mr. Fox ♥♥♥
Ice Age 3 ♥♥
Coraline ♥♥♥
My Sister's Keeper ♥♥♥♥♥

P.S. Danny Gokey's eliminated from American Idol
P.P.S. My Sister's Keeper may not be released this year.

数学魔鬼

2009-05-13T14:53:00.007+08:00

I hate maths like I hate calenders.

I hate linear equations -______-

(which is weird since I like physics)

Lets not talk about stuff that will cause the end of the world.
Lets talk about stuff that made me the beautiful

sea cucmber that is möi.

Bio is sickening. My brain is going crazy studying

stuff its made of T_T So im taking a teensy short break.

7 hours should be enough XD

Of course, that cokcroach we saw that day will have no

need to studi ANYMOR thanks to cockroach public enemy

no.1 Ze Xuan's Shoe.

Update I: Gonna delete all the offensive / disgusting parts.

Update II: Blogger is unavailable.

Update III: Done! :D

I really don wanna get mugged 2morrow.

So if ur offended, well... I recommend anger management.

You'll have Ze Xuan's company. To give him

credit, he has been improving. Alot.

This is the sort of useless stuff Ms Chew should teach:

Men = Time X Money
Time = Money

Therefore:

Men = Money X Money

Money is the root of all evil

Money = (Square Root) All evil

Money X Money = All evil

Therefore:

Men = All evil

CR would Love this.

I DO believe in retards. I do, I do.

I DO believe in phospholipids. I do, I do.

I DO believe in Gangrene. I do, I do.

I DO believe in marriage. I do, I do.

I DONT believe in normality. I dont, I dont.

"Math is like love. A simple idea but it can get complicated"

-Unknown

"The universe works on a math equation that

never even ever really even ends in the end"

-Unknown

告状

2009-05-12T15:46:00.009+08:00

Hey my lawyer's letter is here! YAY!
All this to be read in a posh biritish accent.
Sorry, Ze Xuan, but Im being TOO RANDOM today :D
Besides, i don have that much money. Sad :-(

v ^_^ v
Peace :D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

This is confidential and adressed to Chue Wei Xuan.

I, Chue Wei Xuan, insist that
I DO NOT watch Happy Tree Friends.

The persecutor, Ong Ze Xuan,
called my client a violent person
on the 12th of May, 2009 at approximately 11am.
and blantantly lied that my
client watches Happy Tree Friends,
which is a violent twisted show that
toads enjoying watching.

My client would like to file a lawsuit against him,
for the following charges:

Mental Trauma and/or distress
False Accusation

I hope the judge will sincerely take into
account that there were no witnesses around,
so the persecutor's claim is baseless and idiotic.
My client clamies he has mental trauma,
and wishes to claim $500'000 in compensation.

Signature of Lawyer: ~ ŁąũğĦŧĕŗ______
Signature of Defendant: Chue Wei Xuan
Signature of Judge: _________________

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, I am my own lawyer. Pro right?
*Conceited expression*
Unfortunately, the telephone in my office has
not been installed, so you can contact me at
*Censored Censored Censored*
Joking, joking :D

AARRGGHHH. 2morrow is MATHS!!
*Creepy, Crappy music*
1.5 hours of lovely figures and shit.
My sainted aunt, Im getting vulgar.
Better revert back to the holy goodness of yog(h)urt.
Btw, is yog(h)urt spelled yogurt or yoghurt?

Back to Maths and intestines.
Im doing the extra practices that Ms Chew sent us.
Just taking a break becuz my mum said I could finally
use the computer. Whohoo. I seriously don like Maths...

Ms Chew is like our invigilator today for Composition.
WHAT THE HECK DO U KNOW HOW SCARY IZZIT
WHEN SHE SUDDENLY SAID "15 MINUTES LEFT" AND
SHE WAS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!

I should file a lawsuit against HER for making me
waste a gallon of correction liquid (when she said
that I had 7 spontaneous and consecutive srokes
and ended up writing I Love Barbie all over my paper.
======___________________________________=======

母亲节快乐

2009-05-10T20:58:00.026+08:00

Hi! I've got good news!!!

Gonna go to Hokkaido fr june holidays!

But the bad news is: SWINE FLU >.<

May not be able to go T_T

Remain Positive ( d^_^b ) (thumbs up fr bein happy)

Yeah! Havent felt true euphoria for so long!

Also wrote ANOTHER drama story on Christmas.

Source of inspiration: A christmas Carol

Which is weird considering the fact that its May.

I seriously cant be bothered to revise.

I have stopped writing in Chinese. Officially.

U know, I just ended my Chinese period.

Before that was the poetic period.

Now its the trebuchet period :D

As it is getting pretty troublesome.
I was searching flickr for some funny nonsense

to put when I saw this:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeremybrooks/2473047860/

It is pretty interesting and worth a look...

Already downloaded the pic....

Reminds me of a 50-year old Ze Xuan 0.0

(Unphotogenically Abusive)

NO OFFENCE (very sincere k? XP)

Today is MOTHER's DAY!
Bit late to say this but oh well.
Im sure you all know the origin of
Mother's Day so nvr mind.
These are obviously the wrong flowers anyway.
It supposed to be carnations =.=
Gonna do somethin fantastic next year hehe
a
Anyway, my mother's day card...hm...
I drew a huge symbol of Ceres, the god of
fertility and motherhood.
Nothing wrong rite?
Well I wrote it upside down as I couldn
remember the design of the symbol,
and that way, it is a satanic symbol. =.=
Oooopppsiieee......
But I redrew it and gave a new one to her :D
a
But seriously, Im nt jokin this time. Honestly.
Anyway, we celebrated Mother's Day with my
Grandma :D went to some hotel fr buffet.
I ate 3 plates of dessert. Urrgh.
a
I didn even have a burp...
The least I could have is a minor case of constipation.
All that Sugar must be good for SOMETHING.
What a total waste of time retching over the WC.
Nah, just jokin.
btw, u all DO KNOW whats a WC rite??????
a
Bleah, nyonya cakes are so filling.
Together with Ice Kachang, Vanilla Ice-cream
and Choclate fondue, theyre pretty formidale.
Couldn even finish dinner T_T

*EERRRPP*
"Disgusting!"
-That was my mother (jk)

YAY! I farted through my mouth at last XD
My breath smells vaguely like chocolate, hence
the interesting hue of this paragraph. (jk XP)
a
A mother is not a person to lean on,
but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
-Dorothy Canfield Fisher
a
Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while,
but their hearts forever.
-Unknown
a
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss,
at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
-Honore de Balzac
a
Of all the rights of women,
the greatest is to be a mother.
-Lin Yutang
a
Whatever else is unsure in this stinking
dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
-Jane Joyce
a
Mother - that was the bank where we
deposited all our hurts and worries.
-T. Dewitt Talmage
a
There is only one pretty child in the world,
and every mother has it.
-Anonymous*
a
Remember that behind every successful woman
is a basket of dirty laundry.
-Unknown
a
*Revise your Chinese

信心

2009-05-08T16:48:00.014+08:00

现在对自己有更多的信心。
真开心；英文和历史，唉，每次我说考
得好等于考的“还不错啦”。还挺有意思的。
喜欢的科目都考得不好 = 。= 真伤心。
（尤其生物学。多亏泽轩师夫教我）
还是多练习华文一点吧。
幸好星期一不必上学。

Yeah! Got more confidence now!!
I suddenly had an epiphany.
(Is epiphany the right word? 0.0)
Why did I have to worry about everything?
I Just know I can do it.
That's why I wrote six pages for English.
And seven pages for History.
Temporary Parkinson's disease T_T
My hand kept shaking :D

Feel so happy,whenver I say i did well,
it means I did average :D If I said
I did badly.. 0.0
But If i said I did REALLY REALLY
DAMN WELL???? dunno haven tried yet...

ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR ENGLISH COMPO
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR ENGLISH COMPRE
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR HISTORY
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR MATHEMATICS PAPER 1
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR MATHEMATICS PAPER 2
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR CHINESE COMPO
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR CHINESE PAPER 2
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR BIOLOGY
ILL DO REALLY REALLY DAMN WELL FOR PHYSICS

真烦。如果把历史记得好一点。。。不用进啦。
拥抱明天。坚定的信念是对，
所盼望的事有把握，
对未来看见的事能肯定。

终于写了革新戏剧。是从我们所学到的历史
得到灵感的，很久没写戏剧了 :D

So troublesome. If I'd revised history more...
Oh well. Its a promise for tommorow :D
(which is a drama serial btw :P). Faith is
the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence
of unseen things.

Like the faith that Jia Ying's
poor rabbit will be disfigured like Connie Culp
if Yantong continues her evilness.
Not offending Connie Culp, her story is so touching.
Shes the one whose confidence inspired me.
Together with Susan Boyle of course.
Jiayous, noth of you. XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
http://cbs5.com/national/Connie.Culp.face.2.1002108.html

Sounds sappy and mushy, dosent it?
But I like it. Or else how could I write good dramas?
Btw, I wrote a drama serial based on our history.
Aka history of singapore.
Haven got inspiration for so long T_T
But all the good history stories been stolen
by Little Nyonya and Fighting Spiders =.=

I think Im becoming more evil. I actually made Yantong
say "So mean". I need professional hep @_@
Btw in america @_@ means ur being sarcastic :D
But this is singapore :P

"I think we were all being very cynical.
Well nobody's laughing now."
-Piers Morgan
-Amanda Holden

"Im not a monster"
-Connie Culp

Don't judge people who don't look the same as you do.
Because you never know. One day it might be all taken away."
-Connie Culp

“There is a time, if you are so fortunate, when you have
the utmost confidence that life is going to be so amazing”

"Confidence is the feeling you have
before you understand the situation"

生气的来源

2009-05-06T16:42:00.011+08:00

无辜的玫瑰花

我最讨厌就是生气和生气的人，因为他们满不讲理的，

也不能笑得真切（"真切"用得对吗？我不懂）

可能我也曾近变得不讲理，连建纯都能干得到我的

“威风” （生气）。

又不是故意的，您知道吗？皱眉头需要用到 43 块肌肉，

笑只需要 7 块。

I hate being angry and angry people. They're unreasonable.
Maybe I could (have already) be (been) unreasonable.
Even Matthew could tell I was being emo.... that sux.
But my temp was WAY below normal.
The sadness seems to inhibit my heart.
But after I hugged my 76 (now 91) wives (the pillars
at the school - Im a chauvinistic gentleman :D)
I felt much better; and my temp. skyrocketed
by more than 1 celsius.

I'd like to say my mood has something to do w/ my
temp. Im a human mood ring :D

我又对人（一点）生气。现在没有了，气消得真快。
因为我知道自己有点...“不讲理”。
我对这些人。。。唉.
要不要在道歉?
反正他们也不懂我生气 :P

泽轩
诗贻
佳颖
彦彤（最“厉害”）

I was angry with some people.
But Im nt anymore. Because I realized I was being
totally idiotic and having a stanchless avarice (=.=)
I was (not am) angry with the following ppl:

Ze Xuan (little)
Shi Yi (little)
Jia Ying (little)(arent you scared Im gonna be anorexic :D)
Yantong (most - strangely) (sry abt that)

Which is why I w8ted until they took the bus,

THEN I took the next bus. I could have snapped

again. But my father, when Im at home has abt 99.99%

in causing my annoyance and anger

(like Dettol 99.99% of germs)

(that was random :D)

But my Bio has partly got to do w/ it.

我想退出物理...

虽然我那么喜欢它...

放弃它有点可惜.不行,不能半途而废.

现在要去收拾历史.

写薄克能发泄怒...不错, 还挺有意思 :D

I feel like quitting Bio even though I like it so much...

Shouldn give up though :D

Gotta go pack my History...

Im pretty disorganized :D

Blogging is a good way to vent my anger.

I feel at peace, at last

阿

“Hatred is the vice of narrow souls;

they feed it with all their littleness,

and make it the pretext of base tyrannies"

"Anger is like holding onto a red hot coal with

the intent to throw it at somebody else.

You are the one who gets burned"
-Buddha

"Dangers by being despised grow great"

"Most men know what they hate, few know what they love"

另一个角度

2009-05-05T16:02:00.018+08:00

又觉得伤心（情绪很不稳定），因为我发觉我很“怕输”。

我的作文成绩退步了... T_T

把剪报做好了... 那个....唉...

也发现建纯真的会让我脑力出现很多粗话...

Feeling crappy again. The negative one :D

And just after I commented on it yesterday, too

*sigh*

Because I finally realized that I am "kiasu"

This totally contradicts my inner morals of

lazyboneness. When I got my Chi Compo

back, felt really hm... horrible inside.

What's this feeling? Ill attribute it to my

Singaporean kiasu genes. Anyway, for the

ppl that dunno the basic rudiments of Singlish

or Hokkien, it means afraid to lose

Discovered that I have different content in Chi

and English, so sry Yaazhini. Better learn to be

trilingual.....

我在“Flickr”这张照片时看到我五年级的老师照片！！

她好像是个疯子。眼睛大大，像个将士。

不喜欢她，在他背后取笑她，不会感到太内疚。

心情不好吗, 说些"不好听的话"难避免...

I saw my Pri 5 teach's pic on flickr!!!

She looks like she has a bipolar disorder.

Im so sadistically sarcastic 2day.

And whenever Im like that, my english vocab

is always off the charts. Well, it will be

fr the next paragraph anyway :D

She needs to be kept in an asylum.

Im nt gonna regale you with stories that will

make your skin crawl, but when she smiles,

she shows all her teeth and gums.

I may not like her, but since im in a foul

mood (Grrr), I wont feel that guilty. Hey,

I have a heart ok! Which is made of stone

2day, but 2morrow it will melt back into lava.

I hope.

伤心和快乐有你主宰,其实,这世界上的快乐,

幸福, 越来越少....为什么呢?

因为有像泽轩的人 (没那么夸张啦)

今天也有很多伤心的事,例如:

数学课没完成
今天的化学有 practical
之前提到的华文成绩

三件事儿一!!

You decide your own Happiness and Sadness.

Actually,Happiness appears to be fading away

from this world. Why?

Because there are ppl like Ze Xuan.

Just jokin, lah.

But today, there were some "sad stuff":

Maths lesson was interrupted by some health screening
There's chem prac 2day
Aforementioned Chinese

Onli 3 things actually.

开心的是有六件呢:

没给化学老师骂 (问建纯)
后门被锁住了,我们要走一大圈
功课做完了!!
彦彤跟我们一起搭 "一九七" 巴士
明天没有達文西
阳光普照

But there's always more happiness than sadness.

There were 6 happy things:

Wasn’t scolded by Nr Ng (ask Matthew)
Back gate was locked, walked 1 big round :D
Finished my homework!
Yan Tong took 197 w/ us 2day
No Da vinci 2morrow
The Sun was blazing

哇!今天用了太多 ... 参了,难道我会变
成像泽轩 0.0 还是快点去找人抱抱吧,
心情会好一些.
a
Wow! Used a lot of ... 2day. Oh no,
gonna become an emo frog like Ze Xuan
(he's like that occasionally).
a
Better go find somebody to hug,
maybe I'll feel better. My dirty old Care Bears
from dunno how many centuries years ago
is still here...but it smells like peroxide -.-
But I still ♥ him :D
a
"I'll Weep You No More Sad Fountains"

心理的光芒

2009-05-04T18:41:00.011+08:00

我有些认识的人真的有很多整天脸丑丑，笑的时候，

哇！是奇迹,

想过了，没那么夸张（我这句话是说了多少次啊？）

什么时候你才会开心呢 >.<

可是我发现, 我快乐时, 会有别人...不快了...

(吴老师说: "还挺有意思" 发觉吴老师喜欢说这句话)

I know a lot of ppl who constanly have a black face,

(not being racist), when they laugh,

WHOA! Its like a miracle. And all the angels start

singing "Hallelujah".

Well, maybe thats becuz of me. -.-

Wheneva I am Euphoric ( :D ) somebody else...is...

depressed. That sux.....

E.G. Today

I was really happy.

Sad (to some extent) include:

Gideon (annoyed)
Yong Kuan (duh) (but he can laugh, 0.0)
Fangyi (a little bit, like 1% liddat)
Ze Xuan (....... 100% ...... hehe)

家境贫困的印度人能过得快乐, 你呢?

我认定, 有些人不是(不快乐), 只是

"感情丰富" 像...嗯...泽轩...

他在巴士上很安静, 我呢, [又] 再说一大堆废话.

Even the poverty-stricken ppl in India can be happy,

what abt you?

I admit,some ppl are not sad, just have...er...

a lot of emotions that's all, like ze xuan.

But this is a HAPPI blog, Im nt gonna talk a

lot abt emo stuff (which is exactly what I am

doing now -.-) :D sry abt that

Ze Xuan was being veri quiet on the bus 2day...

(fr the 2nd time)

And i was talkin a load of crap!!!

Apparently, I am the crabbiest (is it crappiest?)

guy Jia Ying has every seen (heard?). Work on ur

pronounciation, Jia Ying.

I hope that dosent mean im crappy / crabby.

Hopefully it means Im too random fr my

own good :D

我今天看到了一张传单, 上面写的是:

救青蛙,救世界

-青蛙疯狂人

泽轩应该参加这项活动, 甚至加入他们

的集团, 不过我也是不了解救青蛙,

是怎样救世界...

I saw a flyer / poster 2day, on top it read:

Save the frogs, Save the World

-Frog Maniacs

Ze Xuan should go fr this, maybe even join

the group 0.0. But I don know how saving the

frogs can save the world.

Maybe this is why Ze Xuan was so emo....

Wonderful inference :D

Or maybe is the stress from exams....

"Climb every mountain...

There's a brighter day on the other side...

Follow every rainbow,

until you find your dream"

"What do you need to be happy?"

压力会让你变丑

2009-05-03T15:39:00.018+08:00

想到脑汁都用完了...

(脸真的很丑)

啊啊啊啊！
现在感到了压力! 吴老师还敢说我们功课比年四的学生少...
不懂怎样温习...
最让我操心就历史,每一个小细节要记得清清楚楚,
林老师真残人, 像"秦始皇"一样 (想到"历史"就想到他吗)
等到五月七号要开夜车, 零时抱佛脚...

*Screams*
Feeling the stress now, Chi Teach even dared to say
that we were less busy than Year 4...
(That probably means ill die in Year 4)
Dunno how to revise...

Most worrying is History: you have to remember the
most minute of details. I just can't remember all
the facts! Mr Lim is like 1st Emperor of China....
Make us suffer (willingly fr some exam-lovin &
hardworking ppl like zx, yantong, Shi Yi etc.)
Later I can burn midnight oil on 7th May,
but last-minute never works (that's what the
pigheaded experts and teachers say, anyway.
Dosen mean im insulting teachers :D)

我希望能把全部的功课丢在一边, 然后把它们烧成灰尘...
像个疯婆一样...
我是那种不能陈守压力的人 (懒惰)
物理老师又还没把文件夹还给我们....
连"读书日"要回去学校....

I wish I could throw all my homework in a pile,
pour kerosene on top, then set it on fire (Guy Fawkes)
Perfect excuse on 4th July, pity I dont live in England XD
Im the kind of person that cracks under stress...
U know, L...A....Z...Y
Ms Ng hasent returned Bio File yet..
Have to go back on Reading Day (7th May) fr Physics

你想想, 压力会让你:

脸上出现皱纹
"熊猫"眼睛
容易生病
变丑
头痛
死得快 !!!

Think abt it, stress makes you:

Have wrinkles on ur face
Have "Panda" eyes (Eyebags)
Fall sick easily
Look Ugly
Headcahes
DIE EARLY !!!

"Stressed is desserts spelled backwards;
have too much and it kills you"

"Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it"

Here's something to destress and detoxify

www.85qm.de/up/BigRedButton.swf

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9644

Dont we just all love BIG RED BUTTONS?

猶太人大屠殺

2009-05-02T12:03:00.009+08:00

Forgive, but never forget

我猜想到你们大多数看到了这张照片。
它出现在今天"Straights Times" 的 "Saturday"
这让我非常惊讶，难道在短短的四年内就能
杀死 170 万人名?

I think most of you have seen this photograph.
I seriously urge you to read this article,
its interesting, yet amazing. Its funny, how murderers
can seem the most genial of people:

"I sought out the reputedly brutal former
Khmer Rouge district chief Im Chaem [...]
and was surprised to find a grinning
– and not unlikeable – grandmotherly figure."

This event reminds me of The Holocaust
(the killing of Jews during WWII)
but I'm sure it was'nt as serious.....

The title of the article is like...
"Forgive, but not Forget"

It sounds like Alex in Red Thread:
"I never forgive, and I never forget"

我最近一直头痛，从星期四就开始，到今天为止。
刚才还想呕吐, 在厕所里呆了半天。
站起来头感觉晕晕, 我是不是有低血压?
我真得很怕...

I've been having some severe headaches
recently, since cross-country (Thurs) until now.
I felt like vomiting just now becuz I felt dizzy...
When I suddenly stand up, my vision turns black
OMG....do I have low blood pressure??
So scary...

"Walk triumphantly down the path with no return"

梦

2009-04-30T18:59:00.008+08:00

追求梦想

In Ojibwa (Chippewa) culture, a dreamcatcher

is a handmade object based on a willow hoop,

on which is woven a loose net or web.

The dreamcatcher is then decorated with personal

and sacred items such as feathers and beads.

Dream-catchers are hung above the bed, used as a charm

to protect sleeping children from nightmares;

they are not meant to last forever but are intended

to dry out and collapse as the child becomes an adult.

The Ojibwa believe that a dreamcatcher

changes a person's dreams.

According to Terri J. Andrews,

"Only good dreams would

be allowed to filter through . . .

Bad dreams would stay in the net,

disappearing with the light of day."

Good dreams would pass through and

slide down the feathers to the sleeper.

a
Another version from the same article was,

"Good dreams pass through the center hole

to the sleeping person.

The bad dreams are trapped in the web,

where they perish in the light of dawn."

“Dreams are like stars...

you may never touch them,

but if you follow them,

they will lead you to your destiny.”

"Lucid dreams are bridges that don't quite reach the other side."

"A touch of a dream...

May all your dreams take flight"

"Are we dream-makers, or dream-catchers?"

自由

2009-04-29T15:48:00.014+08:00

You finally set me free.....

Because...

THERE'S NO MORE HOMEWORK :D

终于做完必要的功课，觉得很爽快。

可是发现我差于英文理解问答，

不是我粗心就是我心情不好，

所以我决定加油，把英文也考得好。。

阿

I FINALLY finished ALL my compulsory homework...

Feel light-hearted...

Since I found out my English Compre is nt veri good...

Either its because I am careless or

I am in a bad mood...Grrr

刚刚领悟继续写华文，很没有意思，可是我还是要继续
写下去，因为我是个无聊的海參 :D
我也在网上发现海參有黄色的血，真特别。

I just realized that it is pretty meaningless to keep

typing my posts in Chinese, but I will keep doin it

because I am a random sea cucumber :D

By the way I also found out that horseshoe

crabs blood are BLUE because of the copper

in the hemocyanin pigment (like iron in the

haemoglobin pigment in our blood)...

Sea cucumbers have YELLOW blood...

beacause of the vanadium in the vanabin

pigment, but vanabins do not carry oxygen,

unlike haemoglobin or hemocyanin...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_cucumber

我也发现泽轩讨厌别人拍他的照片，

放心，我讨厌拍人的照片。

阿

Found out Ze Xuan hates having photos taken

of himself...the hard way -.-
But no worries, I hate taking photos of ppl anyway

阿

希望明天跑步时不会晕倒。。。

阿

Hopefully I wont collapse halfway 2morrow

during the cross-conutry... 3.5 km O.o

"When will we be free to choose?"

"Behind the first facâde lies another mask"

"The gift of love can always be given away"

累

2009-04-28T18:24:00.014+08:00

颈项累得抬不起头...

终于做完堆积如山的功课，除了英文的小小部分（反义词）
吴老师最近特别喜欢给功课，刚好几天前我说要在华文课
用工一点，上帝，你是不是再考考我呢？
求求你啦，我快趁不住了。放过我吧，我真得很累。我做
功课到吐血为止...快，有人帮我叫救护车...我要死了。
没那么夸张的啦，我是死不了的（碰木啦）

Finally finished a mountain of homework, except
a tiny part of English (antonyms). Wu Lao Shi
loves giving a LOT of homework recently,
just after I said I would be hardworking in Chinese.
Have kept to my word so far though, but God,
please dont test me. Im begging u, I might just
snap if this goes on. Please have mercy,
more homework and I will vomit blood.
Quickly, somebody help me call an ambulance...
Im gonna die. No lah, not so dramatic.
*Touch Wood*

泽轩在巴士上显得和安静，结果呢，我们在寂静中做
英文功课...感觉有点...不自在似的. 可能是因为我今天吃了
两包 "CHIPSTER", 喉咙痛. 佳颖也发高烧,
可是后来突然没事了? 哇, 医学奇迹.

Ze Xuan was being very quiet on the bus today.
There was an awkward silence in the air and we
were doing English as we had nothin better to do.
Maybe it was becuz I ate 2 bags of BBQ chipsters,
my throats a bit sore. Jia Ying had a fever, but she
suddenly beacme ok? O.o Miracles still happen...

昨天是红心大奖 2009 有点出乎预料...
今天是"乒乓园"大结局, 大家会以为何胜武会赢...
我们等着瞧吧...

Yesterday was Star Awards 2009
some results were unexpected though O.o...
Today is Table of Glory last episode,
everybody thinks He Shengwu (Joshua Ang)
will win...
We shall see....
http://tableofglory.mediacorptv.sg/

"To receive, you must learn how to give"

"A generous person remembers what he receives
and forgets what he gives"

把生活染上彩色

2009-04-25T18:37:00.007+08:00

我觉得很。。。伤心河难过。又没有控制自己。
难道那一张纸能得罪我吗？
(I feel very....sad and depressed. Couldn control
myself AGAIN. How can a piece of paper offend
me so much？？？）

为什么？
为什么？
为什么？
Why?
Why?
Why?

今天才真正领悟到泽轩是个超级好人。
从今天起，我决定不要再得罪他或得罪青蛙。
喂，别笑，这可不是个容易的事。
（对吗，诗贻？）
(Today I realized Ze Xuan is a really good person.
I have decided NOT TO insult him / frogs ever
again. But old habits die hard. Dont laugh, its not
as easy as you think. Hopefully, this leapord can
change its spots...)
[right, Shi Yi :D]

我也发现，我伤心时悔恨认真地做功课。。
尤其是华文，数学真的很难，想放弃 >.<
(I've also discovered that I can concentrate
better when I'm sad, especially Chinese.
Maths assignment & tutorial is tough,
wanna give up. D:)

最近很流行感冒, 例如:
(Lotsa ppl gettin sick lately, like:

我 [me]
泽轩 [ze xuan]
诗贻 [shi yi]
彦彤 [yantong]
健纯 [Matthew]
我的表弟 [My cuz]
我的妈妈 [My mummy]

所以，记得多喝多一点水，早睡!

[So, remember to drink more water and sleep early!]

"Love is the door to Happiness"